Excitable (Just) 4 yr old and starting school

[clare40]

I am getting worried about my ds, who is 4 in late August (so he will be the very youngest in his school class). I had a word with his nursery today, I instigated the conversation, but basically she said he was very lively and excitable, and boisterous some times, and that they often had to reign him in at chat time. He often becomes disruptive at carpet time. They said he hated sitting down to do phonics and would much rather play. She emphased, she thought this was all age appropriate behaviour and not anything to worry about yet(!) But the thing is I am worried - his character is so full on and I know he can be very disruptive - how the hell is going to get on at school? Is there anything I can do to help get ready???

Watching with interest. Clare you are not alone. I was thinking of writing an identical post.

fear not. some children are just like this, as the nursery says, it's age appropriate!
the school will have seen hundreds of children just like him
reception is quite play-based anyway, there isn't a huge amount of sitting down doing stuff, or carpet time, and if he gets a bit excitable they'll do exactly what nursery does and just get him settled down

am sure he'll be fine :)

Well personally I don't think they should be sitting down to do phonics at three anyway! I think it is great and developmentally spot on that he doesn't want to sit down for that!

but anyway I know that doesn't help when you have a boy who starts school at barely 4, my DS was the same with a mid august birthday.

If there is one thing I can advise, having been there, is do not worry. The point of reception year is that it is just getting them used to the idea of school. It doesn't matter if they have problems or can't 'do it' yet. They are there to get used to it and learn. He can't learn without being taught. So yes he may be difficult to get to sit down and focus but he will learn and they are very very used to teaching this stuff.

they also focus alot on friendship and being part of a group - listening skills is a big part of reception year and it's the listening skills that enable the child to process that yes, it's time to sit down now etc.

So basically take it easy, I don't think there is anything you can do to prepare him (other than giving him pre school experience which you are already doing).

Lively, excitable, boisterous and full on and would much rather play sound very like normal 3 year old boy behaviours to me.
Some reassurance: the reception year is all play-based, so your DS won't be doing much that is different from nursery, but in a larger group. My DS (who was 4.5 at starting school) spends pretty much his entire time outdoors (free play, building submarines ou of giant building blocks, or making junk models).
He will need gradually to build concentration span, but a good teacher/ TA will know what to expect of a just 4 year old. (and they do lots of PE at DS1's school, to help with the fidgets)
BUT, some children, especially boys, are not necessarily ready for school at just 4. Can you think about delaying start, if you decide that's right for him? He could for instance, stay at nursery an extra 6 months?
It comes, in the end, down to the fact that you know your DS best.

Hi - at my DS's reception class they only sit down about twice a day - rest of the time is play - will you have a visit at his new school soon - you could perhaps raise it with his teacher

Yes, don't see it as "school" proper. It's Reception and it is basically play.

In Sweden and other scandanavian countries they don't start school until 6 or even 7 and it's more this age when they need to be able to sit still and concentrate. Hopefully you will feel reassured when you go in to visit reception and you can gently ask the teachers how they deal with the younger ones who need to be up and playing most of the time.

Thank you all for replying and reassuring me! I have a couple of "settling in" visits next half term so will definitely ask. I just really hate the thought of him being labelled as naughty, just because he is immature. I have already asked about him starting him in January, and although legally we can, the school were not very keen at all. The headteacher said he would miss out on forming friendships etc.

Thanks again

My DS1 is/was very lively boisterous energetic bouncy and I remember chatting to his nursery/pre-school in the few months before starting school that I was concerned too. He's Summer born too. I was really worried about it too. DS was never keen on putting on shoes or getting himself dressed either and was certainly not big on sitting down drawing or phonics (could write name very basically and recognise a few letters only) - so I just was fretting about school.

But reception was lovely for him. They did have a sticker chart for him about 'kind hands' (he was always trying to touch/tickle people in an over-excitable way). But they were very good about seeing his strengths too and helping guide and support him throughout the year (they never had any concerns..all age appropriate behaviour). now in y1 he's doing well with reading/writing/loves to draw ever more complex things and is progressing really well. At each parents evening the 'he's a bit wriggly at carpet time' get less and less too - actually the teacher last time said, he can still be wriggly but he's always listening'!

Anyway....I remember reading lots of posts all over the internet about 'don't worry they'll all get there in the end, at their own pace' and it is hard not to worry, but it is true. I still worry now about various things but I now know that it really is true about a lot can change in the space of a few terms.