Toddler regression when newborn arrives..

[ninipops]

Not sure if this is the right place but here goes. DD will be 18mths when DS arrives in July/August. She was bf for 7 months and has always had a 'good relationship' with my knockers - one of her few words is 'booboo' - and she always blows raspberrys on them when I am getting her dressed. Has anyone experienced a regession to the point of toddler wanting to bf again when they see a new sibling do it? I'm not particularly worried about it and will prob let her if she does want to just curious really.

Hi. Mine were 21 months apart but I didn't have the issue of BF as I stopped bf dd at about 6 months. Aside from the BF issue though my dd who is the oldest, if anything she wanted to mother ds from a very early age. They are aged 9 and 8 now and she makes me laugh with some of her expressions, she says things like.....no ds you're not actually old enough to do that, it's for older children Those 21 months obviously make a big difference to her!

Sorry haven't really answered your question but hopefully someone else will be along to give their advice.

Hi I will have the same age gap come July/august and am planning on trying to breastfeed again (wasn't successful with dd) and am worried how this will affect dd if it does work out this time.also worry how to avoid jealousy.all advice I've had has been for much bigger age gaps (over 3 year gap) and although useful advice,most of it isn't practical for an 18 month old.hope someone can give us both some reassurance and tips

I have a slightly smaller gap than you, 15 months, and I bf my eldest for 10 months stopping as the second pregnancy got further along.

DD1 wasn't at all jealous about DD2 coming along though she was very, very interested in what was going on with my boobs. She started breastfeeding her teddy whenever I fed the baby though she would get upset because she was in the popper-under-the-bum vests so couldn't pull up her t-shirt like I could. I had to explain that teddy was special and could feed through her t-shirt. It was very cute but some people didn't know where to look when they visited with me feeding baby on one sofa and DD1 'feeding' teddy on the other sofa!

I let her come and have a good nosey at what the baby was doing, let her touch and explained that the baby was having 'mummy milk' just like she used to have. She was very interested but never wanted to bf herself. By then though, at 15 months it was 5 months since she had been bf and I doubt she could really remember that she did.

After I had bf the baby I would make sure I had some cuddle time with DD1 so that she didn't feel she was losing out on physical contact with me because of the baby. We got a lot of library books out each week and we would read one together 'to the baby' so that she felt like she was being helpful and doing something for DD2, though DD2 was usually asleep of course.

I prerecorded DD1s favourite cbeebies programmes and I put one on sometimes when I started a bf to give myself 10-20 minutes when DD1 would be entertained with something else. I also bought lots of little, cheap presents for her. Second hand books, little cars, pretend phones - anything small and cheap. I wrapped them up and if she was driving me mad whilst the baby wanted feeding/changing and I just needed 5 minutes to get sorted I'd give her one. it took her ages to unwrap them (I used lots of sellotape ) and then spent a good 5 minutes+ playing with it.

Stick a change mat, wipes and a few nappies under the sofa for impromptu nappy changes, then you don't need to leave the older one if they are in the middle of showing you something or doing a book/game together. I always felt like I was abandoning DD1 mid game or book because the baby needed changing, I felt happier just carrying on doing whatever whilst changing the nappy, like I was ignoring DD1 less.

When DH came home from work he would have DD2 for a little while after dinner so I could spend a little time with DD1 alone, after having shared me all day. DH then did her bath and had daddy time with her, so she still got one to one time with us both.

Also, I forgot to say that its bloody brilliant having a small gap you'll love it.

Mine are rapidly becoming inseparable and its just so nice to see how much they love each other.

Thank you yorkiegate I feel much better now. Was really worried about dd feeling left out of breastfeeding and was already using it as an excuse to not try again, you have given me the confidence to try again. Will definitely follow your tips. We have a changing unit which will be in the front room but I like your idea of being able to just do it with out leaving dd mid story/game.thanks again!

DS was 2yr5m when DD arrived. He weaned just before his 2nd birthday and so still had fairly strong memories of bf.

When he saw DD feeding he did ask once to have some. I said he could and he laid down across my lap but he'd obviously forgotten how to latch as he just blew a sort of raspberry and giggled. He didn't ask again.

DS and I read a lot of books in the early days of DD's life (oh and inevitable cbeebies too). Was quite nice snuggled up on the sofa together. :)

My dd loves books so hope we get lots of sofa snuggles too. It's nice to hear positive stories about breastfeeding a second child and tips to make things a bit easier.