Food-throwing toddler - any handy hints?

[herbaceous]

I realise this is probably totally normal, and a phase, but it's really getting on my tits.

Every evening, after eating not very much of his dinner, DS (22 months) will throw the whole plate on to the floor. He used to just sweep it imperiously off the table when he'd finished, but now he knows I can spot his moves, he's got cunning enough to catch me unawares and sometimes will do it mid-mouthful. One time I even grabbed the plate as he went to swipe it, he wrestled it from my grasp, turned it upside down and threw it on the floor.

He's fine with breakfast and lunch, and eats snacks in a perfectly civilised fashion too. He's also much better behaved when we're out.

I wondered if he's full up, but his last snack is about 3.30, and he doesn't eat until 5.30. I wondered if he's overtired, but he has a long nap ending about 3.30, so can't be that bad.

After he does it I tend to just pull him away from the table, wipe his hands, tell him not to throw food, that dinner's over and that he can't have his favourite DVD he's usually asking for by then (currently Davina's High Energy Five workout). If I tell him off any more strongly, he just turns his head away, then laughs. I've tried getting him to help me clear up the mess, but this just gets thrown around too.

Anyone got any tried and tested tactics?

He's just doing it because he can...
Keep calm, don't make a fuss, clear it away and carry on as normal. If he doesn't get a reaction, it will be less fun to do. (I hope)

DD used to do it with her milk - she'd ask for the lid to be taken off her sippy cup, drink about half of it beautifully, then simply pour the rest over the high-chair tray.

I think it was because she knew she'd then be taken out of her high-chair and she had finished her dinner.

We've now trained her to say 'Play please' when she's finished and she no longer does it. Maybe he just knows that that's how he shows you he wants to get down from the table after dinner as it always works?

(Meant to say - it was the milk she was drinking with her dinner)

herbaceous - I'm watching with interest as my 16mo DS has similar tendencies. Have to admit I do stifle the odd laugh when he throws things (food, sippy cup, toys, plate) - though it has gone beyond a joke. He waits until I've finished my tiny lecture & then he throws something else. And smiles. He knows he can get away with it. Mummy is a pushover.

OP, I could have written that post about my 19 month old DS. I read post after post about how he cant be knowlingly naughty at this age but when I see the look on his face when he chucks his plate accross the kitchen I do wonder!

I'm guessing, as has already been said, the best thing is to ignore which I do try to do but it isnt half hard sometimes!

I am sure ignore but I tend not to give much if a snack after 2pm and I know my ds can last happily between lunch and dinner. Maybe he is unusual in this respect though as he eats lots at meals and not much in between.

Maybe cut the snack and he will eat not throw?

Ds was a persistent thrower. We went through the ignoring and a gentle thats naughty stage but sad to say he found it too much fun and continued.

He eventually behaved after a spate of being sent to his cot while everyone else finished tea minus a food fight. He was just about 2

Thanks all. Galena - I don't think it's his way of saying 'finished'. After lunch, for example, he neatly puts his cup on his plate, pushes it away, says 'done' and holds his arms out to get down.

Clear it up and put him in his cot for 5 minutes. The next time make it 10. Explain, 'You are going in your cot because you throw food.' Don't engage any more than that.

Dycey - I could try dropping the snack, thanks. It's not currently much - just a cup of milk and a biscuit. Plus raisins, by which he's obsessed.

Plate with suction cups on the bottom such as all baby plates had in the 70s and 80s and should have never been discontinued as a standard feature.

My 19mo is a thrower. It's quite frustrating as his nursery tell me he never throws food there. Telling him off just gets wry smiles, very annoying!
It seems that he starts to throw when he's had enough. We've also found if we give him too much is one go he'll throw stuff so we don't give him really full plates.

I try not to show him I'm annoyed, I know it's just a stage. DH gets a bit more wound up than me about it. We've got our fingers crossed it'll stop soon!

Yep, DS (2.5) still has the odd meal when he flings or sweeps his food onto the floor. He is much less likely to do it if I completely ignore it (SO hard to do) as any kind of response is, apparently, hysterically funny.

My mum and DH find it much harder to do the tactical ignoring than I do (I'm a secondary teacher so it's my job!) and he is much more likely to do it with them.

Sorry but I really don't agree with FannyNil's tactic; I wouldn't want DS to view his cot as a punishment and I think 5 mins is way too long a time out for a toddler.

Rosie, we've got a suction cup plate which worked really well for a while but now DS is stronger he just pulls harder and it's guaranteed to ping off the table and send food everywhere, even if that wasn't what he originally intended!

feralgirl - LOL - sorry, it is kind of funny.

feral - agree with your advice that the cot is not the place for time out and 5 mins is too long. Trouble is where do you put them for time out when they're so young they just walk away from wherever you put them?

DS did this until recently. I tried a few things but what seems to have worked is a firm NO. then if he does it again food is cleared away. No fuss, no telling off. Clearing away takes a few minutes and he gets bored so normally I chat. If he has thrown things I don't chat.

He hasn't thrown things for the last few days so either it has worked or he isn't in the mood. Could be either really.

Well put it this way,ds has been in cot and hasn't had any issues with it re sleep. Obviously that wont be everyones experience but on the plus i know what he's up to and safe.
Cot worked for us but then i have got 2 others to sort put so less time to think about it.

Maybe I could just push him in his high chair to somewhere boring for a minute!

I think it is something to do with having enough - he tends to do it once I start trying to coax another morsel down him. More than half the time, though, it turns out he does want more.

Have you thought about removing the plate entirely, giving him a fork or spoon, and putting a very small amount of food on the high chair tray. This way he won't have the plate to toss. You could either intially start out with the plate, and then when it is tossed or about to be, remove it and place a few bits on the tray as and when he has finished what is already there, or just start the meal time without a plate. If he eats his food nicely he gets the plate back, if he doesn't he doesn't, then just try again next time?

DD would only do it at dinner time too. She would say 'done' at the other meals. Very odd. Whether it's because it tends to go on longer than other meals, I don't know. She doesn't tend to throw now though.

Cookielove - nice thinking, but his high chair comes right up to the table, so has no tray. And sometimes he just picks the food up and throws it - usually looking me right in the eye - independently of the plate.

I think I'll try a consistent policy of ignoring, removing, and ending the meal, and see how we get on. It is hard though, with that nagging maternal fear of him going to bed hungry.

also you could consider these children are exploring trajectory and discovering the effects of gravity

[Brian Sewell emoticon]

That is a horrid feeling isn't it, leaving them hungry. DS has a snack with his bedtime milk. Breadsticks and houmous usually. Sometimes he eats none, sometimes he bounces up and down pointing at the houmous. Maybe introducing a later snack totally dissociated from what happened at dinner time would help?

Trajectory and gravity my arse.

Not with beans in my house.