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Behaviour/development

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I don't enjoy dc's company

5 replies

CeliaFate · 23/05/2011 21:16

They're 10 and 8, and tbh I don't enjoy spending time with them at the moment. They complain about anything they have to do (hair, teeth, bath, homework etc). If I left them to it they would watch tv ALL day, so they're rationed (2 hours on a Saturday morning, which I think is generous) but they still moan. School is boring, learning is boring, anything that involves getting off your arse is boring.
They don't appear to be capable of intelligent conversation at the moment - tonight's drivel was about if you swallowed a strawberry plant and earth, then swallowed a torch for light would it grow in your stomach (from 10 year old dd).
I'm so worn down and bored of this crap every day. It's a vicious cycle of ask nicely - ask again - nag - shout - punish.
Does anyone else feel like this, that they don't like spending time with their dc? What can I do to improve the situation?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
carocaro · 23/05/2011 21:52

TBH you sound like a nag. And beleive me I am one too.

My Mum pointed out that I was on eldest DS's case all the time, he's 9, do this do that, hurry up blah blah blah. And I thought fuck I am! I decided not to say a word to him all weekend, just nice stuff, no questions about school, homework etc asked him once to get ready and then left him to it, took ages but he got there. It defused the tension massively, I stopped and he listened more, sounds implausible but true.

And yes you do have to listen to what we would not choose to listen too, I had a blow by blow account of all Man U's goals about three times in 25mins, boring to me but important to him. And the strawberry plant thing is a really clever sweet thing to think and say; not drivel, sounds intelligent to me, what do you want him to talk about?, the situation in Syria, the legalities of Twitter and injunctions? Instead say lets see shall we? lets go to the garden centre and get some strawberry plants and leave a torch on them and night and see if they grow; will get them off their arse!

You need to be more positive and less nag orientated, hard I know, I get it, I feel totally peed off when he wants just to play on his DS and talk about star wars. But sometime you have to leave them to it and leave them alone. And do fun stuff, stick on loud music and have a disco! Ignore the complaining, I sing, don't rise to the whinging, lock them outside and tell them to find you some nature for some sweets, make it fun and turn off the nag factor.

carocaro · 23/05/2011 21:54

You also sound that you need something more exciting for you, to fill the gap of all the monotony section of kids, hobby, going out, a good book, OPen Uni course?

Wafflepuss · 23/05/2011 23:39

Maybe trying not to class your children's chat as "drivel" would be a good place to start. The strawberry thing sounds funny, and like something that could lead onto a more serious discussion about how things grow, which in turn could lead to a trip to the natural history museum/garden centre/zoo etc etc. At 10 and 8 they are still little children, try joining in with them

25goingon95 · 24/05/2011 12:00

My Mum pointed out that I was on eldest DS's case all the time, he's 9, do this do that, hurry up blah blah blah. And I thought fuck I am! I decided not to say a word to him all weekend, just nice stuff, no questions about school, homework etc asked him once to get ready and then left him to it, took ages but he got there. It defused the tension massively, I stopped and he listened more, sounds implausible but true.

Exactly the same happened with my DD and i. I realised i was on her case to do things properly and get ready etc boring stuff which annoyed her. I turned it around completely by just completely relaxing about stuff, taking more time to enjoy things together, have a laugh while getting dressed, race her to the bathroom to do teeth etc. Our house is tension free and we are all much happier :) Try it.

Tgger · 24/05/2011 12:22

Yeah, try to chill out. Don't expect to be stimulated by your kids- grab your own stimulation at other times, then listen to your kids, let them watch T.V. (within reason) and try to find some activities together at weekend you all enjoy.

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