11 year old with attitude! HELP......

[LOGAN1]

Having great difficulty with my beautiful 11 year old daughter who thinks the entire world revolves around her. We had words this morning and this has been the pattern every few days. Total lack of respect and really cheeky to me. She will barely lift a thing or ever offer a kind word. It really upsets me when we argue but she does not see what she is doing wrong. Any advice?

Just that mine is much the same. She goes from an agel to devil and thinks that i am there purely to cook clean and entertain her. I am 28 weeks pg with baby no 5 and she is my only girl. I asked her to make me a cup of tea an hour ago and i may as well have asked her to part the red sea!

My 13 year old previously angelic son appears to have gone the exact same at the same time..... I have to assume ins hormones but its so sad. I just dont do 'lip' from my children but seem to end up chastising them for every second sentence they utter.
I just try to tell my daughter that it upsets me when she is like this and that works for a couple of days until......

I just cant get over the 'slave' mentality though. Like 'why should she evr do anything for the family' Do you feel this?

I'm in the same boat Logan. There is a lot of peer pressure around- I'm the only(!) mother who doesn't
let her have a thong!
shave her legs!
pluck her eyebrows! or wear make-up to school

I know she doesn't really want any of these things but if the crowd are doing it then she doesn't want to be left out. ( the answer's still no btw)

We have a constant battle with the state of her room, and I know I'm fed up of saying go and tidy your room. So what we do now is little specific tasks- go and clear your desk/ bring down any washing/ she likes that.

I know that hormones are flooding through her little body and sometimes she is genuinly mixed -up about things. We've had lots of cosy chats about growing up and strangely number 2 and 3 on her xmas list were a girl's day with me and a girly evening with me. Number 1 was an ipod!

Keep communicating. Oh and I found a book which was quite good for me, although we thought it was for dd- it's what the movie Mean Girls is based on. Got it from the library and actually bought it yesterday in Borders- called Queen Bees and Wannabees by Rosalind Wiseman. Front cover says 'helping your daughter survive cliques, gossip, boyfriends and other realities of adolescence' ( sound's like we could do with a version for us too )

Don't know if this is any use, but I'm totally with you here.

Thank you Sammac and 4blue1pink! Its great to know that I am not alone. Think I will log on to amazon and buy book.

many Thanks. xox