Prelim. ASD diagnosis for DS1, pregnant with DC2

[Yarnie]

My 2 years and 2 month old son has just received a preliminary diagnosis of Autistic Spectrum Disorder. One of my (many) concerns is how best to ease DS1 into the idea of DC2. I am 10 weeks pregnant. Obviously, it's too early to tell him now and I was planning to around 6 months, when I am obviously pregnant. At about that time, I was also going to get the various bits of extra kit we will need for the baby and a realistic doll to role play with. We have started picture exchange, so I would also add some relevant pictures to that. We are also starting to gather some relevant books.

My best friend (DS1's godmother) has just had a baby, so I am taking the opportunity to expose him to her baby and talk about it with him.

I know a lot of people with children on the spectrum and new babies need to worry about noise/smell sensitivity. DS1 has mild noise sensitivity, but I don't anticipate that being a particular issue.

I am obviously gearing myself up to make sure DS1 continues to get plenty of attention and one-on-one time with both me and my husband, and thinking of strategies to entertain DS1 when I am breastfeeding, etc (e.g. a quiet book, box of treasure, CBeebies(!), etc).

Can anyone share their experiences? I know every child is different, but I'm hoping there might be some valuable nuggets out there.

Try posting over on the Special Needs Children section .. lots of ASD experience on there. Good luck

Hiya,
My son is now 4 (autism) and DD 18 months so pretty similar ages when pregnant.Basically sounds like you are doing all the right things. Although I wasn't sure whether my son understood he actually understood a lot more than I realised.
Read lots of books about a new family member, having a baby in my belly, etc, etc.Was really concerned how he would react.At the beginning it was a big upheaval for him and that is when a lot of traits came to the fore but when I look at them play now and laugh and chase and cuddle each other, I know it is the best thing we could have ever done.
Good luck, d on't worry and enjoy!

I was pregnant when ds2 got diagnosed at 22 months. In the following 6 months we moved house, had ds3 and ds1 started school so there were lots of new things going on at the same time and then 3 months after that I had a series of seizures and got a diagnosis of epilepsy so suddenly we had to stop going out in the car to do the favourite routes which had been used many times for calming down ds2. (Driving over the M25 to watch the cars is still an all time favourite thing to do)

Re strategies with breast feeding etc, we had an old fashioned playpen, it was a godsend, it ensured ds2 stayed safe and I could use it to put ds3 in it to protect him from any over zealous advances towards his new brother. Fill it with his favourite things when you need to bf. I made sure he could always see me when he was in there.

Favourite videos were also useful - didn't like to go for a wee and leave them together in one room unless he was glued to Postman Pat or Countdown

We named each ds whilst still in-utero and I think that may have helped as we spoke about ds3 being with us and preparing his room etc so it wasn't such a big deal when he came along. Not sure how much ds2 understood really though. A doll is a great idea

Another thing we did on occasion was to stick ds2 in front of the washing machine in a pushchair. he loved watching the washing going round and round

Its certainly doable - I have made it sound horrific but it wasn't. Tap into the things that are particular favourites and reserve one or two for him to do when your bfing

All the best for the pregnancy and with your ds too.