5 yo DS talking about wanting to hurt himself

[LizaTarbucksAuntie]

Our DS is quite bright - amazing memory and reading maths age of 9/10

Utterly delightful boy most of the time but when in a situation when he's stressed/tired or thinks he's done something wrong he gets himself into a proper stew and generally starts shouting about hurting himself (like I want to chop off my hands, I want to see my insides) with real distress and anger at himself.

I had a very acrimonius (sp) split with his Dad when he was 9 months old - DV etc. I thought I'd done a good job of protecting DS fro the fallout but I have no knowledge of how his Dad talks to him or what punishments etc are used. there is NO communication there and despite my best efforts I don't think there ever will be.

Ideally I'm after some ideas of if this can be normal in the age group, if anyone else has had it and what you did please.

It doesn't seem to be his normal 'button pushing' behaviour and he doesn't get attention as a result of it, we're kind of worried he's anxious but don't know how best to talk to him about it.

Help please, I hate the thought that I'm leaving something that's making him unhappy unresolved.

thanks so much.

I'm not an expert but my son was (is) a bit similar (he's 8)...quite highly strung, easily angered, easily cries, mostly over frustration with himself, bit of a perfectionist but hasn't quite hit his stride in any area yet. All the reading and chatting i have done seems to suggest that this is not that unusual and the violent words are reflecting dramatic and overpowering emotions inside which he does not know what to do with. This is what we have done...we have made a point of talking in general about feelings and how hard they can be to handle and talking generally also about words and how upsetting they can be for others to hear. I have talked to him about how he feels and what it is like to feel like that and asked him if there was anything that he thinks would help when he feels like that ( he hasn't come up with anything but I ask every now and then anyway...I think it leaves the door open) and we have started cross country running with him as lots of advice suggests that the excess of testosterone building and lots more intense work at school can be offset by physical exercise to match the mental exercise and give some lovely endorphine feel good hormones to counter the feel bad ones. It's helped a bit and he is gradually learning different ways of expressing his overwhelming emotions. best wishes to you both.