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Time to stop napping at 2.2yrs? Really?

14 replies

bumbums · 18/05/2011 07:03

Desperate for sleep, so all advice welcome. I'll start with a brief history. We stopped my DSs naps at the same age. We moved house a month ago.

Since the beginning of the year my DD has wanted me to stand in her door way while she falls asleep. I've been happy to do this as I figured she just needed the comfort and I couldn't let her cry it out. Once asleep she would sleep through.
In the week after we moved nothing really changed. But then in the past 3 weeks she's found it increasingly difficult to settle at bed time. She can be up till nearly 9pm. We've not battled with her on these occasions, we just let her come down stairs and put her back to bed at around 8-8.30.

We had to move her into a bed a week ago as she was climbing out of her cot serveral times in an evening.

So, now we still have the saga at bed time and she's also coming in to our room a couple of times a night. Each time I take her back to bed I have to stand in her door way till she's asleep again (hateful at 3am!) so some times I bring her into bed with myself and my DH.
She then is waking at 6am for the day.
We've tried not letting her nap. Its a long afternoon on those days but she does fall asleep quickly. She won't necessarily sleep through though.
When she has had a nap 1-1.5 hrs we have trouble at bed time and she's up through the night (as described above).

Sorry to go on and on but. . .
Is this a sleep regression phase or is she ready to drop her nap? She seems too young at 2.2yrs and on really active days it would be cruel not to let her nap.
Any suggestions?

OP posts:
EustaciaVye · 18/05/2011 07:06

I think she's too young and unsettled by the move. See if she'll have a catnap on the sofa rather than a long daytime nap.

Adair · 18/05/2011 07:08

Did you say you'd just moved? My 15th old was really unsettled when we moved and it threw me, cos I'd done loads of preparing the 3yr old and none of the 'baby'? Took a while but it did settle down.

(He was nearly two when I decided I couldn't do the waiting-for-hours-to-see-if-he-fell-asleep nap. Still let him if he fell asleep by himself or in the buggy).

No real advice, as have just had sleep nightmares of my own (trying to formulate plans at 3am... no fun) but sympathies.

emkana · 18/05/2011 07:19

Dd1 stopped napping at 2.0, dd2at 16 months, ds at 2. It's entirely possible that you'll have to make the choice now between daytime and nighttime sleep.

bruffin · 18/05/2011 07:38

DD stopped napping at 18 months DS was nearer 3, they are all different but 2.2 is not too early.

ilovesprouts · 18/05/2011 07:45

ds2 is 4 but still has a sleep when he comes home from school ,

pipkin35 · 18/05/2011 13:54

Going through similar. We altered DD's nap to only 45 mins, she's only ever done 10 hours at night ever (unlike DS who does a 12 hour stint). We also moved house about 7 weeks ago. It was the first time she had her own room and was unsettled for a good week. Now her patterns are still erratic - she might cry out/shout in the middle of the night, sometimes we go in to reassure her, sometimes we don't, depending on what she's shouting about and what time it is!
At the moment, if she doesn't sleep in the day she does go to bed earlier 7.30pm instead of 8-8.45pm, so even though it can be hard going and doesn't always mean a better or longer sleep though sometimes it does - think for us it's slightly better (we get some time alone for a start!).
Am willing to 'let her' have a 45 min kip if she seems to need it though but if we're at home, I would always put her down in her cot.
With DS he dropped his nap at about 2.5. I had to let him drop it when he'd be shouting 'I'm not tired!' for 20 mins! From memory, think he used to have one every now and then.
Moving into a bed from a cot might have upset her routine too. We didn't take off cot sides from DS til he was 3, but might have to take off DD's since she can undo those sleeping bag things....grrr

skybluepearl · 18/05/2011 19:30

she does sound unsettled by the move.

i found this really worked for me and my friends - put child to bed in a bed. if she gets up kindly but firmly explain that you will put her to bed in cot if she gets out again. follow through if she gets up again. don't comment or make a fuss.

the next night start a fresh in her bed. if she gets up warn her that you will put her in cot if she gets up again. follow through without fuss.

and so on and son on each night until it sinks in.

kids love their grown up beds. even if she can climb out of her cot/travel cot she will probably want to behave in order to continue sleeping in her bed. it might take a few nights to work.

Parietal · 18/05/2011 19:44

I very much sympathise with toddlers who won't sleep - my dd still tries every trick possible to stay up late

It sounds like the standing at the door is a big problem, so why not start with that. Our dd always wanted lots of extra comfort at bed time, so we added extra cuddles in the bedtime routine. Then we bought a v big, v cheap teddy who has the job of watching over dd at night to protect her. So teddy sits ner the door and I can get on with the evening. If she wakes in the night (or doesn't go to sleep), I put her back in bed and tuck her in, gently but with no talking. I won't claim her sleep is perfect but it is a lot better. And she still naps at 3y.

Hope some combination of these might help.

ShowOfHands · 18/05/2011 19:47

DD gave up napping at 12 MONTHS and even before that she barely bothered. From 12 months onwards she was up from 7am till 9pm without batting an eyelid. 2.2 sounds positively geriatric.

ffried · 18/05/2011 19:55

have had exactly the sae problem with my daughter, for weeks now since we moved we've had screaming at night we've done controlled crying, talking nicely hoding her for 15 mins nothing worked! she does eventually sleep and will sleep through, but we've done tonight the unthinkable in my view! my hubby lay down on the floor in her room with her pretended to fall asleep with her and just moved her into her bed, for the first time in weeks we had no screaming such a pleasure! the proble with doing this though is that they get used to it and if they wake up in the night and your not there things can get difficult... but thinking i might do it for a few days if anything just so she gets a full 11hours, also thinking to cut out the naps she's 2.6years but its hard to cut them out when she wakes at 6am!

bumbums · 19/05/2011 20:41

Thanks everyone for your responses. Am thinking we'll put stair gates on her door this weekend and try to get her to settle and go to sleep with out me being in the door way.

Still really don't know what do do about the naps. I could carry on letting her nap and just deal with the fact that she's up till nearly 9pm. This could be a phase and she'll go back to napping and still settling at a normal hour.
Or I let her have a nap only when we've had a very busy morning or every other day.
Urgh! Will muddle through I guess.

OP posts:
NellyTheElephant · 19/05/2011 21:01

I would drop the nap or cut it right back to 30 mins. I've had exactly this with all 3 of mine- but at different ages. DD1 had 1 -2 hr naps until about 2.8 without it affecting her bed time, but then suddenly she was wide awake until 9pm so we dropped the nap and 7pm bed time was restored. With DD2 it was around 20 months (total nightmare as I loved the break of her having an afternoon nap and hated having to drop it). I have just stopped DS's nap in the last couple of weeks (he's 2.1) as he has been staying awake later and later and keeping DD2 up as they share a room. He would still happily sleep for 2 hours after lunch if I let him, but would then be up until 9.30 which I can't cope with. For a few weeks after dropping the nap they were all horribly bad tempered and grumpy by the evening, but they soon adjusted.

I have always found a stair gate on the door utterly invaluable once they were out of the cot. DD2 and DS were often to be found fast asleep on the floor! The gate meant I knew they were safe, wouldn't fall down the stairs and above all wouldn't bother me!

DD1 had an easy transition from cot to bed, but both DD2 and DS (who only came out of his cot 10 days ago) were a bit more rocky in that they would wake up in the early hours and hop out of bed immediately, then cry (as your DD seems to be doing). They soon adjust but you do need to be fairly firm on putting back to bed or it will become a habit.

We moved house a few months ago - it is unsettling, but none the less I do think that your late evenings do sound more like a need to drop the nap and the night wake is a classic symptom of realising that she can get out of bed, children do often wake or come into a lighter sleep in the early hours and suddenly rather than turning over and gong back to sleep they have the opportunity to get out of bed and come and find you - so they do.

bumbums · 19/05/2011 21:09

Thanks Nelly.

OP posts:
AngelDog · 20/05/2011 19:56

I agree with Nelly - a 30-45 min nap would be a good strategy to try. My 16 m.o. will probably be like this when he gets to this age - even now if he naps later than 2pm he won't be in bed until after 8pm.

If you do drop the nap, I'd move bedtime earlier by 30-60 mins until she gets used to it.

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