help!

[LMR1980]

hi

i have just joined purely because i have run out of ideas on getting my 14 week old baby to sleep. If anyone can offer me some advice it would be greatly appreciated, bit of background information my baby was born full term but was born emergency section i wasnt well and neither was the baby due to an infection (my waters broke but i didnt start in labour) he has quite a traumatic birth born not breathing they used chest presses etc to help him, as soon as he was born he was put onto the special care unit and stayed there for over a week. I was quite poorly too and didnt actually see him for a few days, when we finally did get him over to the maternity ward he wanted to be constantly with me the midwife said it was because he had no contact with me after he was born. When we got home this continued he wanted to be constantly held and whenever i put him down would start crying i spoke to the midwife they said it was fine to hold him etc so i did although it was exhausting i felt like i needed to give him what he hadn't got the week he was born.

He has gotten slightly better with the holding although he now needs me to hold him to get to sleep, i can then either put him in his chair (for naps during the day). However at night time he will only sleep for a maximum of an hour before hes waking up again (hes not hungry, not wind or nappy change) he just cant seem to settle himself back to sleep, i have given him a dummy but i have to hold it in for him until he goes back asleep. After 14 weeks im exhausted my husband helps when he can but works. I have tried different things swaddling he now wriggles out of the swaddle, i have tried upping his feed before putting him down, also bath/bottle/bed routine, changed his moses baskets for a more comfortable crib, nothing seems to work.

I have family an friends with similiar aged babies who are now just starting to sleep through, i know every baby is different but each bit of advice i read says that he should be able to go at least 2/3 hours now.

If anyone can offer advice i would really appreciate it!

Wow, a lot of your post I could have written myself when ds was 14weeks!
He was early and in NICU a week and is still clingy now, though he is becoming more confident all the time he has needed a lot of reassurance along the way.
The main thing that got us through it are co-sleeping and slings.
Them sleeping in with you really can make a huge difference to night wakings. Though a good start would be to wear him in a sling for a bi every day and try to get as much skin to skin as possible, this is so reassuring for them and might lead to him feeling more settled at night.

Co-sleep? Just an idea - I know it isn't for everyone.

And don't get hung up on sleeping through. They all do it in their own time when they are ready.

My DD was super clingy too & I just went with it. She napped on my chest which was nice cause I got to sit down and have a rest for a while. We also co-slept. Partly because she wouldn't sleep on her own and partly because she woke up so much it was just easier.

She is now 7mo. She is the most secure baby I know, happy playing on her own & watching me walk out of the room and leave her etc. She also only slept through for the first time 2 nights ago. I don't think when they are so young any techniques really work - they'll sort out their sleeping when they are ready.

We still co-sleep but I know that's not for everyone. I love it though. I do think going with what they need when they are so little does help. I think they fact that my DD is so secure is mainly down to all the carrying I did of get, never leaving her, letting her nap on me etc.

Good luck!

I always assumed that when people with babies under about 7 months told me they were sleeping through that they were either defining it differently from me or they were fibbing! Are you bf-ing? Can you give bigger feeds overnight and fewer of them? Clinginess isn't unusual at all - DS basically wouldn't be put down for four months and still at nearly six months likes to be held for a lot of the day.