Does this make me a terrible mother?

[peakaboo]

After asking DD, 3.5, about 15 times to put on her shoes, then same for cardigan, then same for hat (with me giving her a choice and offering all items to be put on), and her doing none of it, I said "you know, sometimes you are really bad at listening". She heard "you are really bad" and went into hysterics. Trying to take it back/explain hasn't really helped. We both feel awful, and I feel so stupid for saying it.

Any advice?

I think she just proved your point.

No, it doesn't make you a terrible mother. I'm sure this will blow over.

Yes, good point re the listening, hadn't seen it like that. I just feel like feeling like your mother thinks you are bad is just so distressing.

You're doing better than me - I send DD1 to her room for doing that sometimes when I know she is deliberately ignoring me to wind me up

Could have been a hell of a lot worse!

DD is also 3.5 I wouldn't have asked 15 times.

And she knows that sometimes she can be bad but most of the time she is good, but no matter what we will always love her.

I don't even see what happened in OP as an issue tbh

My 3 yr old ds2 tells me I'm bad whenever I tell him off for anything.
Don't care.

she will go to the bad for sure.

Oh no - I misread that...sorry

It will blow over. x

A friend of mine was told at parenting classes to say "I need you to put your shoes on, now", instead of asking. If they don't do it then it's "if you don't put them on by the time I've counted to 3 then I'm going to put them on for you", then just do it for them. I usually forget to do it but I think it's good advice...

That's a good tip plipplops. I'm going to try saying that tomorrow. :)