ASD 12 yr old and peers.

[EndoTheRoad]

My ASD son is in a mainstream school and whilst he gets on with the kids in class, breaks and dinner times are are completely different matter.

He isn't socialising and doesn't seem to want to. I don't know if that desire to mix will ever come.

My DP and I are worried, but DP feels that because I say "he's always been like that" (which he has), that I'm accepting it and not trying to change it. It's beginning to drive a wedge between us - he makes me feel guilty.

Over the years, I've taken him to playgroups, met up with friends who have children, but he still pretty much keeps himself to himself. We live in Switzerland and English-speaking clubs (catering for SN) aren't easy to come by.

Should I be forcing the issue with DS or not pressure him? I don't know what to do.

Thanks in advance for any words.

Just wanted to pop by and offer my support (am supposed to be getting kids ready for school)

Lack of structured play is always a problem for kids on the spectrum. Quite simply, they struggle to initiate play, and may lack friends to play with, particularly ones who are understanding enough to tolerate eccentricities. Its not necessarily doesn't WANT to play, rather doesn't know how to or finds it hard to cope. Take it from me (I have AS), its easier to play on your own then try to cope with other people - but I'd still like to socialise though. Are there any lunchtime play groups he could join instead, for hobbies?

Don't really see how you CAN force him to play, but the school perhaps could do more? Do they have a buddy system where an older child befriends a younger one?

Thanks for your response, MaryBS.

The school he's at is quite small, but slowly growing. I'm not aware that they have any breaktime activities - DS says not, too.

I understand the other kids are quite wary of him as they've tried to encourage him in play (in the past), but he's shirked them off and, naturally, they've settled into their own groups now.

How do you manage when it comes to socialising, MaryBS?