DD1's bedtime delaying tactics

[bessie26]

argh! DD1 (2.5) started using delaying techniques at bedtime a couple of months ago, but they have rapidly increased since the arrival of DD2 3 weeks ago!

She started by asking for more stories (accompanied by a cute butter-wouldn't-melt grin), then asking for various teddies, then asking to use the potty, needing to have socks on (nooooo, the stripey ones!) and yesterday DH showed her how to put DD2s nappies on her dollies so now she wants to change all their nappies too!

I'm trying very hard to see this as cute & amusing, I'm guessing she's doing it to not only test boundaries, but also spend more time with me without that damn baby! but it's difficult when DD2 is screaming for her next feed! (bf) I'm sure it will get easier once DD2s feed times are more predictable (please don't tell me otherwise) and I can try to sort out some kind of bedtime routine, but does anyone have any suggestions in the short term?

DH is usually around, (he gives DD1 her bath) but tbh that doesn't make bedtime any easier as DD1 demands I do stories & comes close to meltdown if DH tries to do them.

Any ideas?

We went through something similar when DS (DC2) was little. Tbh, DD still can be a pain about bedtimes, we're just more used to it now.

Anyway, what I found helpful is we worked out a bedtime routine which worked with the baby too (I used to feed him while sitting on the bathroom floor while DD had her bath!). Then I drew it out as a series of pictures. e.g. teeth, bath, pyjamas, story/milk, bed. DD enjoyed telling us what to do next, and it made it more about following the routine and less about her/the baby/us. We could also say, the picture only has one book, one teddy etc, so that is 'the rule'.

Another thing we've done is have the story bit on the living room, snuggled up next to me while I'm feeding the baby, then DH would whisk her off to bed.

This is exactly how my DD (3.4years) acts.... I have a DS2 (14 months) and this started about 7 months ago. I have found it easier to kind of meet her half way. I figured she was going through a huge adjustment and needed to feel particially in control and that she was getting me to herself so her demands are more stories, songs before bed, different teddys, drink and using loo.... and occasionally we get the sock one.

OK instead of having the nightly disagreements I set new rules for bedtime, that include some of her wants this way she knows what will be happening and there is no nighttime negotiations :) so this is how we go...

After her bath which DH does he dries and dresses her (which first she moaned about but she was told that daddy does that then I will read) then he goes gets the drink (2 mouthfuls) I take her to the loo, I say its too hot for socks or its chilly put on socks, she has her drink I read 2 stories (it was 1 but she asked for more and more so 2 has been ''agreed'') and then 2 songs (again more was wanted but 2 was ''agreed'') then light off and night. TBH once this was agreed it was only a couple of days with reminders of the new rules and she settled into it....

I couldn't bf (tried but no milk) so didn't have that issue so maybe another mummy has an idea about that.... I am assuming it is too early into bf to introduce a bottle for your DH to give.... oh and your right it definately gets easier.

Oh and I think DH needs a slap for showing her the nappies.... sounds like a DH I have :)

Maybe you can feed the little one first, hand little one over to DH and then you can do DD1s bedtime routine just the 2 of you, quality time .

Or, if baby is firmly attached so to speak (as they often are this age) then perfect the art of BF whilst concentrating on DD1- maybe if DD1 sees she still gets most of the attention even when DD2 is present- at bedtime in particular- then she will not be so demanding?

Does she nap? If so, maybe she could quit or cut down so she is more tired for bedtime?

yes.. it will get easier when little one is more predictable. You have about 8/9 weeks to go- well my DD got much better by 12 weeks and I managed to get her to go down with DS (25 months between them) at 7.30 at 12 weeks. Recommended!!!!!- was BF too. Afraid I can't really remember what I did re the routine- I think DH did DS's bath like you actually, often used to wait for him to come home from work to do it....

Many thanks for your replies, it's always comforting to know you're not the only one & that it shouldn't last too long!

Will defo be doing the story thing, and prob need to shorten her afternoon nap too (or at least get her running around a bit more after tea!)

I got DH to do bath & bed with her tonight & that seemed to go pretty well so think they will be doing that a bit more often! DH is playing golf tomorrow though, so I'm on my own with them both!