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DS jealous and has low self esteem

3 replies

gottasmile · 15/05/2011 10:49

Ds is 7 and since his sister was born, has shown signs of being very very jealous. He was 4.4 when she was born. For the last 6 months, it has been especially bad. He taunts dd and enjoys making her scream and cry. Snatches things from her all the time. He is also jealous of dh - doesn't want him talking to me, doesn't want him sitting next to me. My life is a misery right now. When I can be alone with him, he's a delight and there are no problems at school.

The other issue is his self esteem and social skills. He claims to be rubbish at everything even though he's not. His friends play football and he isn't that interested but plays because his friends do, but complains that he never scores any goals and gets quite upset about it.

He's become extremely shy and sometimes can't respond when someone asks his name or how he is. He looks away and sometimes mumbles his name......... but then gets upset that adults don't include him in conversations.........

He gets angry about the smallest things, often when he hears what I do during the day with dd - I now tell him that we have boring days and don't do anything interesting. He also got angry last night when I was sharing some food with dd. He was in a rage because it was my food not hers.

We have discussions about sharing, being kind, the fact that people like and want to be around nice people etc but it doesn't sink in.

I'm after some strategies to boost his self esteem, make him less insecure and deal with the jealouy issue - which is a lot, so maybe some recommendations for professional help? I was in tears yesterday so any help or advice or recommendations would be very much appreciated.

Thank you!!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
fartingfran · 15/05/2011 10:59

The obvious thing which comes to mind is for you to spend some time with him, regularly, doing something focussed on him which he can get good at. Martial arts?

staryeyed · 15/05/2011 11:01

I dont really have much experience but What about a club of some sort to improve his confidence: cubs, drama, martial arts?

I personally wouldn't give into the demanding behaviour as long as he is getting quality time with you

Is there anything they could do together? Could he have a bit of responsibility and "help" look after her?

gottasmile · 15/05/2011 12:02

Thank you for your replies, we must be thinking along the same lines because he's recently started karate and loves it. I'm hoping it will help boost his confidence.

FF, I think he would benefit a lot from some one on one time with me, and something I'm going to try to organise.

Thank you both for your thoughts.

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