dd age 5.5 in trouble at school and home every day

[giggly]

Almost at my wits end with dd. She is in P1 and is constantly getting in trouble for butting in, answering back etc. She also sucks her cuffs or collars during the day, some days worse than others.
We have discussed these issues with her class teacher who will punish dd as necessary. However dd is now not wanting to go to school in case she gets in trouble.
She mixes well with her peers at school and is well liked.

At home she buts in fairly often and we are consistant at making sure she puts her hand up or waits for a break. She has improved in this but obviously depends on what is going on, how tired she is etc.

The answering back is often her stating facts rather than being cheeky, but can be her questioning our decisions.Again we are strict about sticking to the rules which she knows and will be given time out,naughty step if she persists.

For other more serious behaviour we have in the past removed her soft toys except for those few that she sleeps with and she would get one back every day she was good.

Today at school she missed out on a small reward,treat as she would not do as she was told.
I have read through the triple P handbook and we are trying to adopt their approach but feel that we are not getting on top of her behaviour.

Sorry for the long post but really needing some advice.

Hi

Her behaviour doesn't sound that bad to me, tbh, and seems fairly typical for her age?

Hope you don't mind me saying, but your strategies for managing it seem a bit hardcore - time out/naughty step for interrupting?!

And what's wrong with chewing sleeves? Am genuinely curious

Yes, she doesn't sound that bad to me either. Are you in Scotland - hence the P1 rather than Year 1? And if so, does that mean she is in her first year of formal education? It can take a while for them to get the hang of putting their hands up before speaking...

She just sounds like your typical 5 year old being typically annoying!! How are the school handling this, your post gives the impression they are coming down hard? If so I'm not surprised she doesn't want to go to school. The behaviour you describe - especially the butting in and clothes sucking - wouldn't be particularly punishable for me. I'd just make her wait until I'd finished speaking before letting her speak, she'll get the hang of that in the end. I'd distract her whenever I saw her clothes sucking. DD used to bit her nails at that age but she stopped after a few months of distraction.

Thanks for your replies. Yes we are in Scotland so started school last August.

We use the naughty step for the times when we she is really cheeky and hasnt stopped or for trying to strangle her sister things like that and then only for a few minutes, no more than 3. The time out is always in the same room as she was in but used more as a stop and think about the consequences type of thing.

I actually agree and dont think her behaviour is that bad but I think I am feeling pressured by the fairly constant stuf from school.
They have a chart typt thing in class that you move onto and are numbered according to the level of naughtieness. This in turn affects the time spent playing/reward time.
Again I do not think this is particulry harsh but it is constant and am a bit worried that it is affecting her confidence.

I think the sucking is a comfort thing as she never does it at weekends or holidays. The other kids have started to pass comment on it. The only problem for me is that she is wating her clothes.

Please tell me I am over reacting

wasting her clothes

From what you say I think the school are over-reacting. So, if your DD doesn't put her hand up this is recorded on the chart and she loses time playing?? And the teachers are telling you about every incident like this? I think that's seriously OTT, I really do. I actually think the chart IS harsh, it's up there as a constant reminder all day that they have been 'naughty' and been punished. Their peers can see it and be reminded of it all day too, like you say it's constant.

I agree that the sucking thing may well be comfort or down to nerves. I'd ask for a meeting with the teacher, rather than her (presumably) telling you about every little thing at picking up time. Find out exactly what behaviour they see as punishable and how they are punishing her. Explain that she is being completely put off school. Poor kid though, the first year in school should be about settling them in, getting them used to the rules, not coming down hard on every little thing.

Completely agree with MrsGravy

Words like "naughty" and "punish" are just so negative and not what school should be reflecting!

There are more positive ways of managing behaviour

Praising and rewarding for a start

My ds nearly 6 and in year 1 and still has bit of a problem with butting in and being a chatterbox. He does end up on sad board sometimes for it but not constant. Needs reminding not to shout out sometimes too.

Have chat to teacher as need to be sure what is going on and don't want her put off school.

Thank you for your replies. I really want to go in and tell the teacher to leave my poor dd alone but I suspect that I will only get myself into trouble.

I am going to ask on Monday as she has said again today that she doesnt want to go to school on Monday as she will get into trouble.
She has been great at home since Friday and we are going swimming as her reward.

The jumper ucking is so normal...my DD did it and so did hald of her class....comfort is all it is.

It seems hard to constantly tell her off in school for butting in...she seems so bright to me...to be challenging is part of being bright.

Why dont you start playing some board games with her, to re-enforce the idea of waiting for turns? If you do it regularly and make it fun, then she may think twice before butting in.

what a great idea mumblingragdoll we do spend lots of time drawing together and playing cards but very rarely play board games.