I have two girls - elder is 6, younger almost 2. Elder one is quite bright (on gifted and talented list at school), younger one seems even brighter - very fast processing, advanced language etc.
Since I had children, I've worked part time (2.5 days per week, hence 50% pay cut). The reduction in income is significant but I've always believed that working half-time was the best of both worlds and certainly feel it benefitted DD1.
Just recently though, I've begun to wonder whether this is right for us. When I think about it, I really enjoy being a mum to DD1 (6 is such a great age) but really dislike dealing with toddlers and babies. It was the same with DD1 and I was relieved when she got to about 3.5 years and some of those bad days were behind us.
At the moment, I simply don't know what to do with DD2. She's much more of a handful than DD1 ever was (and I'm 4 years older and more tired). She cries and clings to me all day - spends most of her time at home crying and I can't seem to work out what's wrong. She doesn't cry like this with other people (her dad, for example - she will sit on his knee and read books for much longer).
Typical day invloves her waking at 7am in seemingly reasonable mood but this deteriorates into crying when I take her from the cot and change her nappy even though I talk to her all the time. She often then refuses to come downstairs and has a tantrum on the landing. She will eat breakfast (usually cereal) but refuses most other meals after a few mouthfuls (I'm not that bad a cook! And she eats 'everything' at nursery).
We often have a battle to dress her (normal I'm sure) but her usual pastime is to follow me around the house wailing. I thought she wanted attention but when I pick her up, she wants to be put down again. This morning she did some puzzles with me after cajoling and some finger painting but quickly abandoned those and took up her following and wailing thing again. I took her shopping and she cried and cried all the time. She wanted her dummy, I gave her a dummy, she threw the dummy, she wanted the dummy....and so it went on. I ended up buying totally the wrong product because it's impossible to think with the wailing that goes on.
I think I m getting to the point of deciding she needs extra time at nursery. She seems happy there and certainly I get no reports of her clinging to people and wailing. Her clinging and crying is very limiting, prevents me cooking or doing anything productive so that by the time it gets to 5pm there's nothing organised for dinner and I feel panicky and hemmed in. Having exhausted every possible activity, I've concluded that the only things that keep her happy are:
A dummy
Wall-to-wall Tellytubbies
Biscuits and chocolate (fleeting contentment)
Seeing her grandparents (very rare occurence and usually for ten mins)
As I don't think any of the above are particularly useful strategies, the nursery seems the only choice. I feel really deflated and concious that I'd prefer her happy and at home with me but it doesn't seem possible. Has anyone else been through this? Was it just a stage?
DH isn't terribly helpful TBH. He says 'don't take it personally' but I think that's a pretty useless response to the problem. It does seem related to me so it's hard not to imagine it is. She is perfectly happy downstirs with him and DD1 but begins her crying the minute she hears me come downstairs. Ha also goes out to work and never has to sit at home trying to entertain her and listening to the crying. Sigh.....