Nearly 4 year old still cries at every little thing - any advice?

[churningyearning]

DS2 will be 4 in June. He's always been a crier. He spent the first 3 years of his life constantly crying. There's nothing wrong with him health-wise, as I've had him checked out on numerous occasions. He's been a lot better since going to nursery, but he is still super-sensitive about everything and his first instinct to things not going his way is to cry. My reaction to this has got worse and worse. I started off trying to be patient, but I've got to the point where it just makes me angry and I end up shouting at him and putting him on the naughty step. I know this is making him worse, but I'm at my wits end. He starts school in September, and the nursery teacher has said to me on numerous occasions that he needs to build up his resilience. Anybody else got a similar child, or have any tips on how to stop him crying so much?

ignore ignore ignore but find stuff to praise and give attention to. If he cries walk away, take away your attention; this feels v false to begin with but persevere

he has found a way to press your buttons (shouting, attention) and it's paying him to do this

(this is love and knuckles the MN way)

Thanks for replying. I do ignore at home as much as possible, but it's when we're out and about on the school run, picking up older ds etc that I find it particularly tough - and incredibly embarrassing. I'm sure everyone thinks I'm a heartless cow, as really often he trails home crying, with me either shouting at him to stop or ignoring... I'm just worried that he's nearly 4 and still like this. I honestly can't imagine a time when he won't do it :(

out and about is PRIME TIME for him because he knows you'll react

chin up shoulders back, all of us with older children have been there (tear stained snot nosed bedraggled pre schooler straggling behind in bare feet because they dont wnat to wear their shoes, anyone?)

I have a four year-old crier too! My other two were not criers so I'm struggling just as much as you are. I try to ignore at home and that usually works but I find it SO embarrassing in public; I can literally feel the dirty looks when I try to go about my business with a sobbing little person. I find that distracting him sometimes works "oh, look...there's a digger just like the one on mighty machines" or "there's Felix (the neighbour's cat) What do you think he's up to?". This week I have tried sending him to the "naughty mat" in our laundry room and that did work but mainly because he was distracted by throwing all of the shoes out of the shoe bin in there....
Probably what 5318 said is the right approach; my main point was to say that you are not alone!

My little girl is very sensitive too but what has helped us is talking to her after she has finished crying. I just explain to her that I can see she is upset but next time it would be much better to use her words to tell me what is wrong instead of crying... She is now much better at expressing her feelings both at home and at school and doesn't cry nearly as much :).

My dd is 4yo next Tuesday and still cries a lot too, she always has, mainly when she doesn't get exactly what she wants in the timeframe in which she has demanded it.

Thanks, its good to know I'm not alone -misery loves company! I'm trying out a new tactic. Had a chat with him about his crying when he was in a good mood and said he should try taking a deep breath and counting to ten before crying. He actually did do this a couple of times today, but he's been in a generally good mood, so time will tell whether it will help.