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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

At my wits end with 2 month old

14 replies

boredbuthappy · 12/05/2011 12:09

i just don't know how I am going to go on like this....the exhaustion is beyond belief now. Even when I have an oppurtunity to sleep, I can't drift off. It's only my husband and I at it...we've no family around and no one really to take some of the strain off. I'm alone with the baby ALL day long everyday. We go out for walks etc...meet NCT group for coffees but in the pram is the only way he will nap, which means I can't 'sleep when the baby sleeps'. When is this going to end???? Seriously, REALLY, when do babies get easier and don't need to be entertained or fed every minute they are awake? He won't even lay on a play mat for 5 min while I go use the loo. Needs me to be carrying him around all the time, I've tried a sling and he hates it.

I'm just sooo sooo sooo fed up.

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throckenholt · 12/05/2011 12:17

try putting him near a running washing machine, or a de tuned radio - (look up white noise) - it helps them relax and sleep.

You must both be exhausted.

BooJonesMummy · 12/05/2011 12:19

Awww big hugs firstly. The first few months are hard trying to find the right ballance and routine. Does he have a comforter like a dummy or suck his thumb or a special toy or blanket? Maybe try and get yourself into a nap time routine just to make life a little more structured and secure for you both. Hope I helped x

RitaMorgan · 12/05/2011 12:22

What kind of sling have you got? Some are more comfy than others.

Around 4-5 months I found ds got more predictable with feeds/sleeps and started sleeping in his cot sometimes rather than just in the pram or sling.

Are you breastfeeding? I used to get daytime sleep for myself by taking the baby to bed with me and feeding him lying down - the hormones released make you both sleepy!

Bumpsadaisie · 12/05/2011 12:38

Oh bless you, its hard. But it WILL get better and at 2 months you are heading for better times quite soon.

I had to carry DD around all the time till she was about 9 weeks (she wouldnt go in the pram but liked the sling). She slept ON me till she was about 3 months - it was the only way I got any sleep.

When I went to the loo, DD had to come too - lay her down on the bathmat (where she cried while I hurried up!)

But it does get better, I promise. Soon you will have forgotten all about this stage! The first 2-3 months are like a fourth trimester really - some babies just want to be held. But from 3-4 months they start getting more independent and dont need you quite so much, plus the fact they can hear and see much better. And they become interested in the world around them too.

Hang in there!

weltschmerz · 12/05/2011 13:10

Sending you a huge and lots of sympathy! My DD was exactly the same at 2 months; between 5 and 8 weeks she didn't sleep for more than 10 minutes at a time, day or night: during the day she would only sleep if I was walking her around in the pram which didn't help much.
I asked my doctor if my drinking caffeine could be causing it, he reckoned it was very unlikely and that coffee was probably the one thing holding things together for me. He was right .
At 9-10 weeks the nighttime thing started getting a little better and by 3 months she slept through most of the night and was fine with being left for a few minutes at a time. The best tip I had was to roll up a muslin and create a sort of nest around her in her cot - apparently it makes them feel the same security as in a pram. DD has never been a great daytime sleeper but it made a massive difference to the nights.

Wish I lived near you and could take your son out for a while to give you a break!

yawningbear · 12/05/2011 14:18

As others have said you could try white noise, DS, 12 weeks, sleeps much better if there is loud white noise. Also you could try a swing if he likes movement, DS is currently napping in his as I type. Also swaddling even if you haven't been doing so up until now, its not too late to try it. Could you push him in the pram at home until he sleeps and then have a lie down yourself? Though if he is anything like my DD he maybe wakes as soon as you stop pushing? In which case maybe see if there is anyway you can find someone else to take him out for a walk, whilst you rest. Maybe try putting him down after you have fed him when he is content, somewhere soft and comfy but not the play gym. Not with the aim of sleep but just so you don't have to carry him all the time. Even if he will only tolerate being put down for a really short time to begin with if you keep doing it when he is relaxed you might find the time he will lie happily will increase at least long enough to make a cup of tea! DS is most happy when lying on a soft rug, nappy off and old towel or muslin under his bum. He hates the play gym too and will generally cry if put under it, I think perhaps they are better for slightly older babies. Good luck, DD was the same at 8 weeks and it is seriously tough but it does get easier.

throckenholt · 12/05/2011 14:23

I forgot the nappy off thing - that really used to calm mine and they would lay quietly for up to half an hour (bliss).

DeSelby · 12/05/2011 15:26

Have you tried a baby bouncer/vibrating chair if your baby likes motion? And I found a mobile above the cot really helped, my DS would stop crying & enjoyed looking at the lights & colours.

Maybe try rocking the pram in the house so you can at least have a sit down. If you're exhausted then cuddles/feeds in front of TV/ a DVD can help relax you and the baby.

I found it got easier at about 3 months as my baby developed more of a routine & his behaviour/needs became more predictable. Hang in there!

kirrinIsland · 12/05/2011 15:51

Ahhh - the good old "sleep when the baby sleeps" thing - I must have heard that one 2 or 3 times a day when I was pregnant and I've managed it twice since DD was born (she's now 4 months), and I don't know anyone else who managed it either. My DD only started going down for naps when my DP had her, she previously slept on me or not at all. This might have been a coincidence but I think it was probably because feeding to sleep just wasn't an option - maybe worth a try? It will get easier, though that's probably not much comfort to you right now.

diyqueen · 13/05/2011 10:45

My dd is 7 weeks old and also likes being with me constantly, but she will lie and watch a musical mobile over her cot for ten mins or so now (I got a Fisher Price rainforest one with animals that spin round - the music lasts for about 15 mins each time). If I time it right, for when she's fed and happy, it buys me enough time to have breakfast/a quick shower/put some laundry on/get some sanity back! She happily waves her arms around and reaches up towards it, and she seems to like the music - I'd recommend trying one if you haven't already.

addictedtofrazzles · 13/05/2011 13:46

Try a cranial osteopath
Also, raise the end of his bed/basket - he could be refluxing (silently) which will cause huge discomfort. If he is windy, difficult to settle, arches his back etc it is a route to explore and DEMAND help from your GP.
Also, do try leaving him to grizzle for 5 minutes (not screaming blue murder, obviously!). DS1 used to grizzle in order to wind down. By going in and checking him, he found it difficult to settle because I kept interupting him! Time yourslef - 5 mins will feel like forever but it is important that they sometimes get the opportunity to vocalise as they try to sleep!

FranTan · 14/05/2011 23:13

Mine was exactly the same. He needed carrying, pushing in pram, feeding, walking constantly. Then there was working out when he needed entertaining or was over-stimulated. We also lived away from family and I was alone all day. He had colic until 12-14 weeks and he screamed constantly. Don't get me started on when he had jabs! But it got easier at about 3/4 months and much, much better at about 6 months. It was just time, which isn't very comforting when each day seems like a life time. I muddled through, stumbling accross things by accident, such as putting him down to sleep, rather than assuming he wanted to be rocked. Little things like working out their preferences slowly, slowly made it more bearable. And of course when they sleep better throughout the night is a major breakthrough. Again, this was at 6 months when I did controlled crying xx

UrsulaBuffay · 14/05/2011 23:15

Oh it gets easier, honestly. It's bloody hard.

You could try taking it in turns to have lie-ins and naps, it helps a wee bit though you will feel like ships passing in the night (on the landing) for a while.

FanjoForTheMusic · 15/05/2011 08:01

You poor thing, makes me shudder when I think of DD's first weeks (actually the first six months!). I agree that you're about to turn a corner, for me three months was an improvement.

Have you tried a swing? They're pretty expensive so maybe see if you can borrow one. It saved my sanity as I could put DD in it, have a shower and she would actually nap in it.

Agreed, 'sleep when the baby sleeps' is balls.

Are you BF? If not, how about you alternate the nights with DH and take a sleeping pill on your night off so at least one night in two you get some kip. Sounds extreme but if your own sleep is messed up it might be the only option. Worked for me.

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