God - the little girl next door is just so SENSIBLE

[ellifino]

She is polite and well mannered and sweet. Very confident. Not precocious, just quietly self assured. She always pleases, thank yous, says hello and answers questions politely. But she is also thoughtful and does a bit extra. I once saw her stand up to two big boys and really hold her ground without getting upset or shouting, just by being firm. And she once got cross with a whole room of children who weren't being careful enough playing with next door's guinea pig - but then she showed everyone how to hold the guinea and explained that she only knew because she used to have one herself. And she's not a saint or anything - she plays and giggles and joins in the fun.

I wish I could teach my own daughter that inner confidence. My darling girl gets awkward and unsure and hides it by playing the clown, and is quite happy for everyone to be laughing at her.

How do you teach that?

You don't. You just accept your dd as she is. Please don't try and make her somehting she's not. For all you know your neighbour is a little terror at bathtime or throws her dinner across the table.

yes, i think they are born like this.

We had a NDN like that. She was dull dull dull and worthy. Enjoy what you've got.

LOL. That is how other people describe my DD2! It does make me very proud BUT she is not perfect!

Think to some extent it is just personality as although DD1 is fab she is much more 'normal' ie. not as sensible or confident. A regular child with normal insecurities. DD2 is very self assured but not cocky at all, just as you describe.

I am not unaccepting of my dd, I just want to help her have more self confidence. That is a good thing, surely?

And I dispute the idea that well behaved children are dull dull dull. Quite the opposite, actually.

No Newpup, I am sure she can't be perfect. And I imagine she might be quite a worrier. In fact if she were my child I would probably worry that she takes too much responsibility upon herself or something. We always find something to worry about.

I do hugely admire her and her parents though. She is a great little girl. So composed. I see myself in dd's insecurities and I would love her to have some composure!

She sounds a lovely little girl but your DD sounds fun too. I think you've got to see the positives in each individual personality and work on their strengths. That's what I'm trying to do at the moment anyway!

I think manners are easy to teach. Please and thank you is very important to me but all children are different. My daughter is a happy clever little girl and she's so fun and loving. She will randomly come up to me and tell me she loves me throughout the day and she's helpful with housework and is very good at doing things for herself (will a little help) and I wouldn't change her for the world BUT she's stroppy at times and will go from calm to explosive in 60 seconds. She has her insecurities like she's terrified of toys that move on their own (like wind up toys and stuff) and she can be quite spiteful with other children and is going through a biting other children phase BUT these things are normal for her age so I just concentrate on the good things and we have fun 99.9% of the time.

Your DD sounds like a lovely little girl and I don't doubt for a minute that your neibours little girl has her moments too. No child is perfect.

LOL ellifino. That is exactly what I worry about!