DD1 has always been a shy, introverted little thing. She is quite bright, but has never been particularly good at interactions with other children. (she prefers adults) She goes to groups with DH and DM two mornings a week, and playgroup where I leave her 3 mornings a week. Reports from all the professionals at these places are always extremely positive about a polite, pleasant girl.
We had very few problems until the arrival of DD2 a year ago. Since then we have had tantrums, bashing her sister, lying down and refusing to move, wetting herself deliberately, and various other attention seekers. I have pretty much always praised the good, ignored the bad, and in mumsnet style they have all passed. However, she has never really made friends.
I haven't helped as I moved to the area shortly before DD1 was born, went back to work when she was one (part time) and then had PND following DD2. This has meant that I have very few friends in the area, and the ones that I made when she was small have gone back to work/drifted away.
I met up with an old friend today, whose son is DD1s 'best friend' if you ask either of them. She has hit him, pushed a dolls pram into him repeatedly, run over his feet repeatedly with a ride on car that belongs to DD2 (which she was sat on, so it was heavy) pushed him, hit him with baby annabel (suprisingly hard), so in the end I had to ask my friend to leave.
I have a plan to meet a mum from playgroup tomorrow, who I do not know well, it will be our first playdate. How do I control DD1? how do I stop her pulling/pushing/hitting? and how do you teach a child that age to make friends - especially when you're not very good at it yourself?