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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Are lots of five year old girls bossy?

12 replies

Lookandlearn · 11/05/2011 19:29

Dd, 5.6, seems to be. She has a good circle of friend's at sxhool, but she is quite bossy with play dates when they come round. It seems to be very important to get things "right" and she also struggles with compromising over which game to play. I am really worried that eventually no one will want to play with her. Or is a common feature of children this age? Should I be doing anything actively to help or waiting for it to pass? Feeling bit paranoid today because it coincides with her not being invited to a party, although I know that realistically she won't always be invited to everything and it's not a whole class do.

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dikkertjedap · 11/05/2011 20:05

I think that quite a few of them are, however, when my dd is very bossy I do talk to her about it and that we have to share and listen to each other and make it nice for all kids, she takes note. So I would discuss it with her whenever you find that she is bossy and help her finding a compromise which suits her and her friend (s) but I would not be overly worried though. Not being invited could be due to many factors, such as number of children, some parents only invite 2 or so children so many will not get an invite.

sleepingsowell · 11/05/2011 20:08

As the mother of a boy, I'd say yes it is VERY common

was astounded at the sheer nosiness and bossiness of the girls in his class when he started school Girls in general have seemed much more controlling than the boys.

though to be fair, my DS is 8 now and most of his class are 9, and they STILL seem to spend alot of time trying to have games played their way and getting annoyed when they're not played 'right'

girliefriend · 11/05/2011 20:10

Mine is, she likes things done her own way!!! However she seems very popular at school and her main friend is very laid back and doesn't seem to mind being told what to do all the time!!! I'm trying to see it as a good thing that she is so assertive and that it will stand her in good stead I do tell her though that she needs to listen to her friends otherwise they will get fed-up!!!

thebird · 11/05/2011 21:12

It is common at this age IMO but girls in general are just bossy. Probably seems worse when having play dates at home as she is on her turf and its her chance to be in charge - she might not get away with being so bossy with lots of other little bosses around at school!

My DDs teacher says she has never seen so many alpha females in one class - they are just so bossy. Not sure where all the alpha males are!

UniS · 12/05/2011 21:30

Yes

MrsJoshHomme · 12/05/2011 22:51

God, yes completely normal. DD (8) is very bossy, she is like a mini mother at home with DS (3.11) ,telling off, telling him to not do that etc,. But also ALL her main friends are really bossy, its interesting sometimes to watch them all bossing each around, but not actually listening to one another too! I wouldn't worry too tbh.

Original poster

Lookandlearn · 13/05/2011 07:27

Thank you all! Confirmed what I suspected-I think they pretty much all boss each other about! Will go off and find something else to mither about!

OP posts:

Mipe · 13/05/2011 13:29

My 5 year daughter is very bossy especially with her mummy :)

BrokenBananaTantrum · 13/05/2011 13:33

My 4.10yo DD is really bossy too. I do talk to her about it and try to make her understand that she needs to listen to others too. She remembers for about 5minutes and then is back to being a bossy pants. I too am hoping that she will grow up to be a strong willed person and that this bossiness is an early trait for it.

Glad others are in the same boat

SpangledPandemonium · 13/05/2011 13:38

You could have described my daughter (exactly the same age) and most of her friends.

I just keep chipping away, trying to reinforce positive interaction and I know they do the same in school. I point out what she could have said or done and how she could have said or done it.

Then I bang my head against a brick wall

hester · 13/05/2011 13:39

She sounds just like my 5 year old dd. I hate overhearing it - I worry she won't have any friends left - but it doesn't seem to bother her victims so maybe they're all at it.

blueberrycustard · 21/06/2011 23:59

My dc is at the receiving end of bossiness. I keep telling her to say 'no' to her bossy friends and become friends with other, nicer children. I wish that those of you who had bossy kids actually tackled the issues as they are potential bullies in the making. They are certainly not welcome in my house and won't be invited to any parties.

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