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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

I was that cross speaking with ds's teacher this am, i was shaking.

11 replies

bigbumum · 09/05/2011 14:31

Poor woman must have thought i was deranged.

Ds who is 7, was punched in the face so hard on Friday that he has a black & yellow bruise on his top lip.

To my horror and shame, ive been telling him off for nor washing his face ALL weekend, it wasnt till Sunday that he told me it was a bruise and what had happened.
He didnt tell anyone as it was at lunch time. (???)

Last week, dh had to speak with the teacher about ds being called names.
He was faking a painful leg in the week....probably as he didnt want to go to school.

Poor thing.
Thing is, i was called in to school about 3 months agao as ds had had a disagreement wth a boy and they hit each other. I didnt see the other childs parents and they were not made to appologise to each other.

This is bullying and i feel SO bad for ds, so how do you all deal with it?

OP posts:

JoanofArgos · 09/05/2011 14:33

If he and the other kid both hit each other last time, are you sure it wasn't a bit reciprocal this time? Not accusing your son, but it might be worth checking all sides of the story.

Also if he managed to make you think it was just a dirty face for the whole weekend, mightn't he have been able to hide it from the teacher for an afternoon, if he didn't want to talk about it?

What is it that you think the teacher hasn't done right?

SenoritaViva · 09/05/2011 14:35

What did the teacher say? This needs to be dealt with by the school, whilst keeping you informed of what is being done. Whether it needs to be dealt with by head/deputy or just teacher I don't know, but this is severe. I'd also be concerned that dinner ladies did not pick up on this. i.e. was he crying after it happened?

SenoritaViva · 09/05/2011 14:38

JoanofArgos (nice name!) has a point. Either way, the school needs to deal with this, whether your son is a victim or has a part in it himself. Sometimes boys get into a whirlwind of bullying, it happened at the school I work at. They were all being violent towards each other and as a result were all miserable. The school handled it by speaking to all 3 boys plus parents plus staff. There were a few incidents where they needed reminding but we were all vigilient and on top of it.

Original poster

bigbumum · 09/05/2011 14:38

Im not cross at her, im cross at the viciosness of the other child, actually punching some one in the face at age 7!!!

Its such a nice school, with really lovely kids there. They dont tolerate bullying, so i know that they will deal with it well.
I just got all emotional when i was thinking about him not telling any one, and being scared.

OP posts:

JoanofArgos · 09/05/2011 14:39

That's understandable.
If I were you though, just to be on the safe side, I'd collar the teacher this afternoon and say sorry for losing your rag a bit it's just that you are really concerned about ds.

Original poster

bigbumum · 09/05/2011 14:40

have to confess, he IS a PFB well actually he is my ONLY child and so i do not have the experience to deal with what to do when he gets hurt. Its a life lesson i know, but God its so hard isnt it.

OP posts:

SenoritaViva · 09/05/2011 14:41

Yes if you're worried you were shaking, of course you were! Don't beat yourself up, but agree with JoA that maybe you should explain to teacher.

Original poster

bigbumum · 09/05/2011 14:42

Aparently, ds said that he was discussing a football team, and the boy didnt like what ds was saying so he pushed then punched him. Ds said it really hurt but he didnt cry, said he was dead brave

OP posts:

JoanofArgos · 09/05/2011 14:45

Yes, it is hard when they go through these phases where you know that every day you're sending them off to have a difficult time - been through it with both mine, and I do sympathise.

I had a long period of time with my then 8 year old when every car drive home would be her telling me the nasty things another girl had said or done to her (including randomly smacking her in the face during PE) - she would invariably be crying by the time we got home, and often so would I!

They're friends now

But I do know it's really hard x

Mobly · 09/05/2011 19:39

It's understandable that you were shaking- it's the adrenaline. It's an upsetting situation. Does your DS do any type of defence/martial arts classes? Might be worth him joining one if he's up for it to help him in the future.

Unfortunately, for most lads there will always be situations like the one you described.

Readytoburst · 09/05/2011 20:49

Ask the school to give you a copy of their bullying policy. They will have to give you a copy and it will show you what 'should' be done. It may also worry them into dealing with it promptly.

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