18 month old behaviour - Help !

[hazhawken]

My 18 month old is beginning to show her own wants and desires which is wonderful and also challenging ! These days, when I take something from her, she reacts quite strongly. So, for example, this morning I turned around and saw that she was in her high chair with the end of a sharp knife in her mouth that I?d left within reach by mistake. I took it from her and said ?you can?t have that, it?s sharp?. She straight away threw her spoon on the floor, looked at me for my reaction. I just looked back at her. Then tipped up her milk cup so the milk dripped onto the floor and I said ?don?t do that? in a calm voice. And then she flung the cup across the kitchen floor. I said ?NO !? and she started crying.. I felt cross as we had a terrible nights sleep and I?m pretty exhausted too. Her favourite word these days is ?no? and that can be pretty wearing too. Responding to her behaviour is a new thing as she?s getting older and I?d be so grateful for any advice you have ? what?s the best thing to do when she reacts out of frustration when I take something from her ? I know me getting angry doesn?t work because I get cross, she gets more upset and we wind each other up.

Another issue for me is that every meal time, she tips up her sippy cup or normal cup to watch the liquid pouring or dripping onto her place mat ? I say ?no? but she keeps doing it and keeps doing it and gets upset when I take it from her. More recently I?ve just let her do it and gently said ?keep the milk in the cup, give the cup to mummy, which she sometimes does. I know she now looks at me for a reaction when she does it Should I just let her tip up her cup until she gets bored? When we?re at my mothers house, I know my she gets cross when my daughter tips up her cup or bowl, and says ?no? ? she said that she wouldn?t have let her kids get away with this kind of behaviour ? but getting cross doesn?t seem to work.

All advice most welcome. I don?t want to have to reinvent the wheel and I?m sure most mum?s of older kids have been through this. Thank you xx

I'm afraid I can't offer any solutions but my DD (20 months) also loves tipping milk/water out of her cup (sippy or otherwise) and we find it really frustrating.

I recently read a tip (on here!) that you should tell them what you want them to do "Leave the cup on the table" rather than what you don't want to do "Don't tip the cup" as by telling them the thing that they want to do they then find it harder to resist the impulse. We've started to do that and it seems to be helping - it certainly seems to make her think more before doing it (and often she doesn't do it).

The other thing that has helped is getting her a cup without handles, which was entirely random. Mothercare had the same cup as she uses (a vital baby one) in the next age up and on offer, it is slightly bigger and has no handles but the same spout (she can drink from an open cup but likes to wash her hands in it/ tip it, so the spout helps to limit the flow of water!). The lack of handles makes it harder for her to swing it quickly from one hand after taking a swig IYSWIM, so we have more time to tell her to leave it on the table or stop her.

Not sure what can be done about the removal of dangerous/undesirable items apart from ignoring her reaction - my DD is often the same but perhaps not so vigorous in her response.

I have the same problem with my 20month old. She's very determined and independant which means she often won't take any minor tellings off and ends up laughing at me and then crying. It's so soul destroying to have to continue to tell her no. But we now work on a 3 strike rule. If she's naughty at the table I tell how I want her to behave and leave it at that, then she gets one more ticking off, if she still behaves she gets down from the table, or I move her plate away from her and ignore her as best I can. Seems extreme, but she's graduallly becoming better.