4 year old boy who wakes up around3/4am and screams for hours

[restoree]

Hi all

After a third night of no sleep I am wondering if there is anyone out there who has experienced/or has advice on how to deal with a 4 year old boy who wakes around 3/4am and then will scream for attention up to 2 hours? I am 36 weeks pregnant, and with husband and a big bump I don't want to encourage my 4 year old to wake up and automatically think he can sleep in with us, he has had his own room since around age 1 and been a bed since age 2 and no real issues until now with getting him to stay in bed. I have tried different things-sitting with him until he goes back to sleep in his bed, he then wakes as soon as I leave the room and screams for his Daddy, his step-dad will then sit with him until he has apparently settled and leaves my son wakes up again and now says he is scared of the dark, despite having the landing light on. Talking through why he is scared, then telling him to go back to bed, to shouting at him, taking away toys and privileges as punishment-nothing has worked-and I feel a failure as a parent, that he continually does this. My husband is his stepdad, and has been around for the last 18 months, and I feel that this affecting their relationship as my husband is getting very frustrated with this behaviour, and I can't seem to get my son to behave.

We are worried that he will continue to be like this when the new baby arrives. We have prepared him for the arrival of the new baby-reassured him we love him and have been giving him extra attention and he seems ok with that.

Help! anyone have any advice?

My dd started doing this 6 weeks after dd2 was born. We believe it was jealousy as dd2 was in our room. She was making a definite choice to behave like this as when we told her she could see her granny and granddad if she slept, she did. That was not a practical solution long term! We introduced the 'sleep fairy' who visits if she goes to bed nicely and doesn't cry or call out at night and brings a small gift. Hhe gift is often something she needed anyway (new pyjamas) or something small like an Alice band or magazine.

The first couple of nights she called out a few times (we ignored) and the sleep fairy gave her a mini cream egg as she had gone to bed with no fuss but not slept all night. After that she was as good as gold. 2-3 weeks in the gifts are getting smaller and we get to sleep again!

It wouldn't have to be a fairy if that doesn't appeal, it could be the sleep train or something!

IMO & E 4yr olds can be very sensitive to change maybe let him bring a little bed in to yr room for a while and or try ready's idea.

Give him a torch. You can get ones that recharge by shaking. Then tell him he can put it on if he wakes and is scared of the dark.

we had a similar issue with DS2 (just turned 3). Things that have helped are a cd player with a selection of story/music cds; water in a non-spill cup by his bed and a 'bunny clock' (changes from waking to sleeping bunny at a particular time). He is allowed to put on a cd if he wakes up before the bunny and gets short shrift from us if he tries to sneak into bed. Then (and this is the tough part!) when waking up time arrives (at 5.30am yawwwwwn), I welcome him really enthusiastically into our bed for a cuddle and story. We are gradually making the wake up time later. Torches are a great idea for an older child (like your DS) but my DS2 throws things around when frustrated still. He has been through several torches and two beside lamps

aww poor boy. No doubt he senses something is 'up' and will have been picking up on all sorts from conversations about the baby etc and he is reacting to that. Why not let him have the comfort of your bed for a little while and the comfort of mum?
I wouldn't worry at all about bad habits and all that - when he is not worried/insecure, he will stop waking, simple as that.

thank you for all your advice-torch already in use this night -a new one given as a gift from the baby-which he seems to really like and lots of extra cuddles and attention during the bedtime routine have helped-he is asleep and settled so far, but baby kicking is keeping me awake now! getting some practice in for the sleeplessnight with the new born :-)