HOw can we stop a clingy 4yo making life very difficult?

[olivo]

DD is 4, and in reception. We are having huge problems with her clinginess; it is making mine and DH's lives very difficult. SHhe has reverted to sobbing and clinging at school drop off time, something we thought she was over, after a very diffult first term, same at dance class, parties etc etc.

I hate the other parents looking at me and that I have to be firm with DD, peel her off and hand her over crying. Her teachers are great, and she loves school, dancing etc but it is really stressful and we've been late for work etc too.

I thought she'd grow out of it, but appparently not. She's always been shy but we have encouraged her to try to overcome it or at least deal with it. i've asked her gently why she si like that, and she wither says she's forgotten or she misses me. we've tried reward charts etc , which normally work for her, but not this time.

any tips please?

she's four and a lot younger than some of her peer, ds2 is an august baby, its fairly normal for children to be clingy at that age,

as for the other parents, everyone of them has been through it, and its empathy they are feeling, it has nothing to do with them, she's not trying to make life difficult(it just feels that way)

try buddying her up with a friend in the playground, and sending them in together?

arriving at the playground a little earlier so she has some playtime with her friends and a chance to prepare herself for school?

ou and out bribary? that worked for us, a sticker for no fuss and a magazine if he got five stickers?

is this new?

it may be that the talk of moving up to year one is unsettling her, again happened with ds2 (but not ds1)

good luck

If she's not 5 yet she doesn't actually have to be in school at all. You could see if reducing her hours would make her happier.

The other parents will just be looking with sympathy that's all. No one is going to judge you for having an upset child.

Does she have friends at school?

HI, thanks for your replies. We're not in the UK so she had to start school when she did. She has lots of friends, no problems whatsoever when we are gone, but she is rude and stroppy with them when we try to leave her with them. We have tried going early, just before the bell, but nothing seems to work. I know she is only little, and most of the parents dont judge and are lovely, but at least one has told me I 'need to be firm'. That particular one was very nearly told to piss off!!

Bribery worked last term, and we have started again with a sticker chart, with a small toy she really wants, after 6 good days.

I know she is unsettled after a long Easter holiday, but this is just like going back to the early days of shcool where she was peeled from out legs and handed over to her teacher. She could be unsettled by the next move, they have begun talking about it. Her teacher says she cannot see anything at school about which she is unhappy,and she si doing really well, and DD tells us she loves school.
sorry, I sound so negative, don't I? this is all coupled with sleeping issuees which are not helping the situation at all, so it is hard to be positive, although I alwys try to be around DD.