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Behaviour/development

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Terrible 2s or something worse?

3 replies

scarletfingernail · 06/05/2011 14:40

My DS is now 2.4 (only child presently) He has recently become more and more boisterous. Mainly thowing things, kicking me while I'm dressing him, shrieking no at the top of his voice if I ask him to do something he doesn't want to do.

I am firm when telling him off and follow through with any warnings I've given. Ie taken a toy away after he's thrown it for the second time, put him in bed if he won't stop slamming the door (always after I've warned him first). I know everyone talks of terrible 2's and until this week thought him no different than any other.

But, the playgroup he attends has informed now me he has started hitting other children when he doesn't get the toy he wants straight away. Because they've told me I'm thinking this must be out of the ordinary and none of the others are like this, surely if it was normal behaviour they wouldn't say anything to me? He's the youngest one there and his speech is not as good as any of the other children and I cannot ask him about it as he cannot reply.

I don't want my son to be known as the kid who hits everyone and I don't know what else I can do other than tell him it's wrong. I don't want to make a big deal out of it when he's already been told off by the members of staff at the playgroup, at the same time I want to nip this in the bud.

So, is this a big deal and does it mean we're going to have problems with him? If so, what's the best way to handle it? Or, is it normal behaviour for a 2 year old and I carry on doing what I've been doing and he'll grow out of it?

I'm a sahm and most of his discipline is left to me. DH has a fantastic relationship with him, but I do feel at times that he needs to show a bit more authority with him rather than leaving it to me to tell him off all the time. DH tends toTe ignore the behaviour unless I ask him to get involved.

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Tgger · 06/05/2011 14:47

Sounds very normal 2 year old behaviour.

Did the playgroup have any suggestions? Really it's for the teachers to discipline/help him whilst he's at playgroup- not much you can do there! Can you have a longer chat about it and explain about his language/age etc and see what they say. Clearly he needs to learn expectations/boundaries in this setting with other children but equally he is VERY young still and I think maybe those expectations are a little high for children this age- perhaps nearer 3.

At least he didn't bit anyone (!) My niece just came back from day 3 at playgroup with a bite!

Selks · 06/05/2011 15:06

Your DH needs to be parenting in the same way as you. If he leaves the discipline side up to you then your son will be getting mixed messages about what is ok behaviour and what is not...i.e. if Daddy tolerates some behaviour that Mummy does not. Sorry but to leave the tough side of parenting up to you and just engage in the nice bits is pretty lazy and selfish imo. He really does need to do consistent parenting alongside you....this might help a bit with your son's behaviour.

scarletfingernail · 06/05/2011 15:42

Tgger I'm now dreading them telling me he's really hurt someone. Your poor niece Sad. I thought that about his age too, I just wanted to check and make sure I shouldn't be doing something else but there is only so much you can do when they're that young. I always worry about other children hurting him while he's there, I never thought for a minute they'd be having that kind of conversation with me just yet.

Selks you're right about DH. We're going to have to have a proper conversation about it. I had wondered if it is in fact me who is too hard on DS, as DH has much more patience than I do with everything. But now this has happened at playgroup he is going to have to start getting more involved with the discipline side of things at home. I think it's important for little boys to see their Dads take charge when necessary as well as being fun.

Gosh, where has the last 2 years gone? What's happened to my my lovely tiny baby?

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