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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What telly shows do you let your 3.5 yr old watch...DS said something disturbing

27 replies

puppie · 06/05/2011 12:40

I let DS 3.5 watch Scooby Doo (after much reassurance from him that he does not find it scary) and Dinosaur King because he loves Dinosaurs and aren't any other Dinosaur cartoons on.

I guess they are not really age appropriate cartoons but wasn't too worried about it. Yesterday though he came out with something that unsettled me while walking home from his childminder.

DS: Mummy when I'm a big boy I can go for a walk without you and daddy?
Me: Yes when you are a lot bigger you can.
DS. I will take my drink of red juice and my gun with me then and shoot everybody!
ME: What a horrible thing to say you must never do that.
DS: Okay I wont then.

Now I have no idea where he would have picked up something like that from so was thinking maybe it is the telly I allow him to watch. What are your thoughts?

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ReadingRage · 06/05/2011 12:45

At about 3.5, allowed DS Cbeebies only, now he's school age he's allowed CITV but I restrict some of the programmes, some are a bit violent IMO.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 06/05/2011 12:47

DD 3.3 watches anything on Cbeebies, plus Peppa Pig, Button Moon, the Gruffalo. That's about it. She is sometimes in the room when Eastenders is on but she is swiftly removed if there's anything 'gaan daawn'

Bucharest · 06/05/2011 12:49

Dd (7.5) only just starting to appreciate Scooby. Still finds it a bit scary at times.
Think you're dooooooomed to a couple more years of NinkyNonks.

Original poster

puppie · 06/05/2011 12:54

Hmmm I think I'm going to have to put into practise some tough love here (shivers at the thought of telling him he cant watch them anymore).

What are your thoughts on wildlife programmes then? I think they are very educational for him and we watch a lot of them together. We always turn off at the crucial 'lion bringing down his prey' moment but I think he still gets the gist of what is happening.

OP posts:

Original poster

puppie · 06/05/2011 12:55

And has no-one elses' DC's said something similar?

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Shannaratiger · 06/05/2011 13:15

Ds 4 watches Ben10, Doctor Who, Peppa Pig (any CBeebies), Tom and Jerry, but doesn't like Scooby Doo as he says it's too scary and asks us to turn it over.

ppeatfruit · 06/05/2011 13:21

This is a diff. one 'cos there's scary things in books as well (other children too) IMO &E what they don't understand they ignore. I was fairly easy about cartoons on T.V.....

ImeldaM · 06/05/2011 13:23

Think wildlife programmes fine, esp if you are watching them together. If he is really keen on any that you're not sure about (scooby-doo/dinosaur king) watch them with him so that you can decide if they are suitable.

Don't like my DS (6) to watch anything too violent with fighting/wrestling, he's lively enough as it is

ppeatfruit · 06/05/2011 13:24

....it depends on the D.C. of course but I would discuss it with yr DS and try not to make it a punishment also watch with him when poss.

Shannaratiger · 06/05/2011 13:25

puppie ds had a similar conversation, ( he starts school in September his sister 7 and dyspraxic has been having lots of social problems at playtime)
"Mummy when I start school I'm going to beat up all the children who've made dd sad"
I don't know if I can blame the TV/ Wii for this out burst or him over hearing his sister coming home everyday from school upset but we discussed it and he now knows that violence is not the way to solve problems. It was nice to hear that he cares about his sister though.

Mummyloveskisses · 06/05/2011 13:25

My DD is 3.4yrs and she is CBeebies and Peppa Pig or Ben and Holly and I tape the last 2 so to avoid adverts (I don't like her watching them??) Anyway her most favourite about 5 months ago was Timmy and my DS1 (13yrs) was bored of watching with her (whilst I was cooking tea) so introduced her to Shaun the Sheep which I thought harmless, its made by the same person just geared towards an older child, but she just liked seeing the sheep... anyway a few days of this and we had a wakeful night because of ''big timmy'' which apparently was an episode Timmy was made giant.

So from then we were back to CBeebies we had a couple of days moaning for it but I just told her the program was 'broken' and she accepted it and put on another favourite instead. I do see your problem though without a dinosaur alternative. Are there guns in Dinosaur King?

TBH I don't let DD watch any other tv she is upstairs from 6.15 bath, stories and bed so doesn't see any ''adult'' tv apart from any my husband watches on the weekend but I have limited him to gardening or cookery as I don't want her or DS2 seeing or hearing anything.

You make a point with the wildlife programs and I personally don't let DD watch them but maybe that's because I'm not big on them rather than content, I would be wary with any ''kill'' moments only because some can be very graphic, but you will be best to judge how much your child can handle.... I always thing children brought up on farm's are more matter of fact about life and death as it is seen so much in the animals and don't think it a bad thing.... its just how its introduced. Perhaps if you watched before him to check content?

Francagoestohollywood · 06/05/2011 13:27

Mine have never really found Scooby Doo scary, though my eldest started to watch it when he was about 4.5

At 3.5 they used to watch Thomas the tank engine, Max and ruby, Angelina, Maisy, Dora and Peppa pig. They were fine watching Sleeping beauty, which can be scary.

NoWayNoHow · 06/05/2011 13:27

Don't beat yourself up - DS only watches cBeebies, Fireman Sam and Ben and Holly and he still goes around pretending to shoot people.

It's not just from TV that they pick stuff up - at this age they getting particularly social, and will copy a lot of what they see/hear their peers saying/doing.

Francagoestohollywood · 06/05/2011 13:30

To be honest, I wouldn't really blame tv (unless they are glued to it for hrs on end) for talking about beating up, or shooting etc. I think children obviously think about these things, it's normal.

Just talk to them and keep reinforcing the fact that violence is a no no.

naturalbaby · 06/05/2011 14:14

ds1 just turned 3 and went through a phase of having nightmares after seeing a seal swimming underwater on a wildlife program - as it came up to the camera it opened it's mouth so you could see all it's teeth. here i was thinking it was a lovely program for him to watch and was talking about the seal and how clever it was to be able to swim underwater and he was screaming and crying in his sleep about it!
i hardly let him watch anything, pretty much only cbeebies, thomas, thinks i know are for pre-school kids and he still comes out with things every now and then that makes me wonder what he's been watching.

Original poster

puppie · 06/05/2011 16:39

Mummyloveskisses there are no guns in Dinosaur King but there is fighting. I do watch with him but to be honest I can't make head nor tail of these 'Manga Lite' type cartoons anyway... I have to ask him what's happening . Shannaratiger it's lovely that your DS is protective of his sister.

I'm just trying to ascertain really whether the cartoons are a bad influence or it's the bigger boys at the childminder that he hears these things from.

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LeMousquetaireAnonyme · 06/05/2011 16:52

Definitely something he heard at the CM, preschool or pick up from you. He could have had a glimpse of adult TV, some detective thing which stuck in his mind, may be just watching a TV on at the stores/windows...
If you make very clear that what happen in cartoons doesn't exist in real life, he should understand it.
They have to be scared too, it is part of growing up.
Scooby doo is pretty harmless.

Mummyloveskisses · 06/05/2011 16:53

From what he actually said (about guns) it makes it seem like older children but the red juice made me think of blood and that it was something seen and his child brain associated red liquid as juice?

After reading what others have said I have to agree that they absorb information from all over the place and really it is just up to you to set the boundries and instill good behaviour as you did in the incident as it arose. x

LeMousquetaireAnonyme · 07/05/2011 06:16

the red juice made me think of

fartingfran · 07/05/2011 06:33

Hmm I worry about this. DS is nearly 4 and has recently (and pretty suddenly) become really into guns, swords, chasing and scaring. He just seems so aggressive - not directly violent towards people beyond pretending to shoot them, but just less gentle and soft than he has been until now. Although he's watched some moderated bits of Doctor Who with his dad he doesn't see anything other than cartoons so I don't know what to make of it really. It worries me a bit, although friends with older kids have reassured me it's normal. I do let him see the news and we've talked about soldiers and stuff ...

susssiq · 07/05/2011 06:42

my ds started with that kind of talk at similar age he is now almost 5. I reckon he has picked gun stuff up at nursery and killing stuff comes from his cousin stampin on a snail when he was 3 plus that his friends dad died so death has had to be discussed. My Ds has even once said "i can kill you if i want to" that shocked the hell out of me and prompted lengthy talks on what that meant cos he did'nt really know at the time.

LisasCat · 07/05/2011 07:04

OP why do you stop him watching 'the kill' on wildlife programmes? It's a part of life, and it opens up the way to all kinds of topics that they are far better off learning about from you than their friends. DD is almost 4 and we've used wildlife programmes as well as trips to local farms to explain where our meat comes from, and the fact that some animals get killed by other animals for their food too. A lion killing an antelope is the most fundamental thing that happens on this planet and I think you'd be surprised how well they can handle it. DD recently accompanied us to a funeral, and asked where the dead body would be going next, and was completely fine with the idea that the person no longer needed their body so now it was going to nourish the earth and help plants grow which would in turn give us clean air and food.

And as for the talk of killing, DD talks about this and other 'adult themes' which we've tracked back to the fact that several of her nursery friends have older siblings, who use throwaway lines like "I'll kill you if you do that again". Sadly, we simply cannot stop the filter down of information without stopping our children interacting with other people away from our presence. But I find the trick is to always make time to open up a dialogue with her the moment I hear them say these things. Let them know if you're not happy with them saying something, or at the very least make sure you explain it to them in a context you're happy for them to hear.

Original poster

puppie · 07/05/2011 07:12

That made laugh LeMouse! He is crazy about his apple and blackcurrent juice (red juice) and we have to take a bottle whenever we go as he will only drink that and water! So I found his statement equally innocent and worrying as he still included his red juice!

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cellini · 07/05/2011 07:22

hmmm, my son (2.9!!) has an obsession with "firework sticks": i will not give him the word "gun", pathetic middle class mother that i am! while I won't let him watch anything other than CBeebies, he loves the film WALL-E, and Eva (for those who don't know - a character in the film) has a hand that can also fire at things (she is "good" though), consequently if he is upset with someone (Eg. another child thew stones at him in the park yesterday, which i only saw the end of) he came to tell me about it, but rather than physically retaliate he quietly aimed a shot at them! my bleeding liberal heart wants to stop this but my own mum suggests a little "self defence" - as long as it isn't physically lashing out- is ok. in short, i have no advice, just a lot sympathy!

ppeatfruit · 07/05/2011 12:14

It's all part of growing up; they make guns from sticks if they can't have playguns. DS is the most peaceable man now but he loved his gun at 2 and a half!!IMO it's best not to make an 'issue' out of it.

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