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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DS starting reception in Sept and I need to fill in a profile questionnaire...

17 replies

neverright · 06/05/2011 07:54

Hi,

Ds will be starting school in Sept and his new school has sent a questionnaire to fill in about him. One of the questions talks about his playing with others and behaviour towards them. In the past he has lashed out a lot with other children, he now does this occasionally when frustrated. I have spoken to his preschool to see if they feel that its still enough of an issue to bring to his new schools attention. His carer thinks there has been dramatic improvements and he is now not out of the realm of a typical 3 year old whilst another member of staff says he still pokes and prods and thinks I should mention it.

My concern is I don't want label him as a naughty boy before he has chance to establish himself and settle into to school, plus its still another 5 months off yet for him to calm down even more but I the other hand I'm think I should mention it. I'm dreading being called into school constantly.

I need to send the form in today so any thoughts would be gratefully received

OP posts:

Bonsoir · 06/05/2011 07:59

I would lie and make you DC to be the easiest child there has ever been. I think it's outrageous that the school expects you to judge your own DC like this.

Tommy · 06/05/2011 08:02

I would say something like "He seems to enjoy playing with other children" and leave it at that.
I can't believe a school would ask the parent to make comments like this - this is why they have the profile from pre-schools/nursery

mandoo · 06/05/2011 08:09

It's quite typical to have to fill in a profile form even at Pre-school level. This is not so your child can be labelled a naughty child but so that the teacher can see each child as an individual and can then support them with any difficulties/needs or just different personality traits that they will have. I always think it's better to tell the truth and be open. This is totally normal behaviour for a 3 year old child and the teacher will be more than aware of this. Knowing that your child may need a little bit of guidance with this issue will help the teacher and your son.

Original poster

neverright · 06/05/2011 08:24

Thank you all. Mandoo that was my line of thought but its just niggling me for some reason. They also ask about his birth which I found a bit strange.

OP posts:

PotatoWaffle · 06/05/2011 08:27

I can't see how his birth is relevant but I do think it's important to tell the truth. There is no point in pretending he's an angel. 3 year olds act like this and the school will know it's entirely normal but also they will help your child adjust and adapt far better if they know what the situation is from the start.

Bonsoir · 06/05/2011 08:29

Actually, describing his birth wouldn't bother me at all as it is pretty factual, and it is useful for a school to know whether a child was premature or spent a long time in intensive care etc as it may have a bearing on that's child's maturity.

Original poster

neverright · 06/05/2011 08:30

Within minutes they'll see he is no angel so its no used pretending

OP posts:

mandoo · 06/05/2011 08:45

I think really the birth should only be relevant if he was prem. So I would just put 'normal birth' if your not happy going into a full description.

IndigoBell · 06/05/2011 09:42

It's hard enough to have a good relationship with school when you are open and honest with them.

There's no way it's going to be a good idea to start out by lying to them....

Which doesn't mean you can't phrase it the best way possible.....

DeWe · 06/05/2011 10:15

I would mention it as it may mean that if the teacher looks up, seeing things are getting stressed in his corner and intervenes sooner rather than later, hence intervening before your (or another) child has prodded/lashed out etc. rather than after and having to deal with it.

systemsaddict · 06/05/2011 10:19

I would probably mention it in a fairly anodyne way on the form, but also have a quick chat with the teacher too - maybe at an induction day? - so they get a better picture and you can clarify that he has improved over time etc.

ninani · 06/05/2011 12:48

Are they explicitly asking whether he has behavioural/playing problems or is it a yes/no question? Maybe if you are unsure you can leave that question and describe it to his teacher. Say he used to behave like this but has made enormous progress. If s/he thinks it is a problem you can fill it in accordingly.

mossi · 06/05/2011 13:09

Part of me thinks don't say anything - as you say it kind of labels him.

Another part of me thinks it's probably better if you explain clearly so that they don't misinterpret. In our case it took them the best part of a year to realise my DD was shy and needed encouragement to join in.

There seems to be a lot less one to one attention when they start school - I think I would make it easier for them by explaining.

Original poster

neverright · 06/05/2011 15:15

Thanks everyone for your advice. I've filled in the form and mentioned it without making a big statement. I also said that preschool and us at home are working hard to try help stop this and he is making huge improvement. I feel much better just highlighting it to them and you never know over the next 4 months and once he turns 4 it may stop altogether. Here's hopping.

Thanks again.

OP posts:

MadameSin · 06/05/2011 15:53

neverright I wouldn't tell them anything negative about your child. He does not need to start reception already with a label of the 'naughty' child. Let them find out what he is like. He will be maturing all the time and his behaviour will change and hopefully improve enough that it won't be an issue. School will probably ask the nursery for a report anyway, but they won't be too negative ....

MadameSin · 06/05/2011 15:53

Ooops sorry ... x-posts with you and notice you've already completed the form ... good luck!

Original poster

neverright · 06/05/2011 21:14

Thanks MadameSin. I kept it very brief plus Preschool manager is a bit of a witch so goodness know what she'll have to say. You're right at the moment I'm seeing a difference in him week by week especially with his tolerance with others. You never know come September I may well have that angel child Hard work though he is I wouldn't have him any other way.

OP posts:

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