Slow/ daydreaming ds

[bitzermaloney]

Ds is 4.9 and in reception. The teacher tells me he is lovely and eager in many ways, but very very slow at doing things. He is exactly the same at home. He will go off to the loo and still be in there 20 minutes later looking fascinatedly at a piece of toilet paper. If I chivvy him up he will get moving a bit and then 5 minutes later stall again. I feel like I nag him the whole time. At school he can spend an entire day colouring something in (but not in a focused way) that takes the other children half an hour. He is a bit of a perfectionist, but it's not just that - he is also in his own little world... In lots of ways he is making progress (reading, etc.) and seems bright and creative with an amazing imagination - so the daydreaming does have its good side!

Physically he is very over-cautious and doesn't seem as coordinated as his peers - while they are leaping over things at soft play he will try to get over something but then decide it's too difficult.

Although it's not a problem in reception, I fear that in Year 1 he is going to struggle. Is there anything I can do to help him speed up a bit and concentrate?

My kids are the same. Always the last to change for PE, or come out at the end of the day. DD11 is dyspraxic, but as academically she is fine, nobody has found it a problem apart from PE teachers and us! DS9 is just in his own world - probably a nicer place to be! Plus side is they are both highly creative. Reward charts and lists may help for limited times, but you have to remember them too! A challenge for me! Erm - are you (or a close relative) a bit vague yourself and have just learned to deal with it?! If so, he probably will too, in time. Maybe encourage him to be independent with little things as much as possible - with a vague child it's easy to take over and my kids always feel they are bossed about by more 'with it' children. If he's progressing in school and not misbehaving, teachers aren't going to worry, but you may need to make sure he has checklists and routines. Time him in a fun way, with incentives. Or learn to love it! He's probably a budding genius and they're traditionally away with the fairies and need their back up team!

agree about the checklists and routines - my ds1 has little pictures on velcro to help him remember what happens and when, and he makes his own illegible lists

For the co-ordination, we worked a lot on 'fun' stuff like throwing and catching, starting with a space hopper then gradually down to football and then smaller stuff. he's 10 btw, dyslexic and dyspraxic but when small and we didn;'t know the 'labels' (which don;t matter, incidentally) I just knew he needed to improve his focus and co-ordination, so basically spent two years of throwing balls at him at every opportunity

My dd has ADHD and although doesn't daydream she dithers about and forgets what she is meant to be doing. So I have an egg timer now (a reallllly loud one!) she has 3.5 mins in the bathroom to brush teeth then egg timer goes off. 10 mins to get dressed etc etc it's working really well as she now try's to beat the clock and is more focussed on what she's doing

Thanks for the replies. His teacher mentioned using an egg timer so I think I will give that a go. I had to look up dyspraxia - a lot of it seems very familiar indeed, but there are a couple of symptoms where he seems the opposite, e.g. he loves and is very good at Lego. It's almost as if his fine motor skills are good, but it's the gross ones he struggles with. Is it worth taking him to the doc to assess whether he actually has dyspraxia, or is there not much point (just focus on trying to improve his coordination as above)?

fwiw my ds1 has always been fantastic at lego. The really awesome stuff, tiny little bits and huge projects - jumbo jet and all sorts. He can follow the picture instructions and because it's one of his 'things' then he is fine with it. He couldn't throw or kick a ball, only learned to ride a bike after five years of riding with stabilisers (he was 7.6 when he could do it on 2 wheels) and his balance is shocking. We are currently trying to teach him to hit a ball with a bat, using a tennis racquet mostly, but at 10 it's the sort of thing he needs to learn to do. We're always trying to keep one step in front so he won't look daft with his peers.