Almost 7 month old hysterical when he can't see me

[FlingonTheValiant]

I have a feeling you'll tell me this is normal and I just have to wait it out, but...

For the last 3 weeks DS has started to really cry when he can't see me. Not crocodile tears, real "I'm in distress" tears.

He also wants to be held a lot more. Before he would play happily for a little while, now he just screams himself into a temper tantrum. A couple of times I've tried sitting down next to him and playing with him rather than pick him up, but it just ends up with me playing and him yelling.

Everyone keeps telling me he "has to learn", so is there something I can do to help him become a bit more independent again, or do I just hold him all the time?

Thanks!

Yes it is normal but its really upsetting, my son is 10 months and is the same, have to carry highchair upstairs to put him in when I have shower/go to loo (yes ridiculous I know) cos if I put him in cot or travel cot where he can't see me as well he ends up screaming with tears down his face :( also make sure he's not getting overtired between naps as my son is far worse if he's tired :)

This is normal!

Some get separation anxiety to a greater extent (like my ds) who went through this stage, more so when in unfamiliar surroundings (how he roared when I went out of sight!). Try leaving him for very short periods of time (seconds at first) before reappearing. Or sit him in a room where he can see into the room that you are in so that he knows you are there, then pop in and out of sight so he loses the fear of you disappearing. He will grow out of it, honest.

Oh dear :( Sorry to hear you're having the same. Has it been going on for a long time?

DS goes down for a nap every 1.5-2 hours. I have no idea if that's OK or not, but he only does short naps.

I left DS in the bedroom for all of 10 seconds when I went to hang up my towel - I really regretted it.

Thanks LostInTransmogrification, I'll try doing that.

He's been doing it for about a month now, I remember my daughter going through it too and coming out the other side, just don't like to see him like that cos he's not a 'crying' baby at all normally (although can be very grumpy!!)
Nap time sounds fine, so he shouldn't be overtired. Mine only does short ones too avge 45 mins....
I just keep trying to reassure him, have tried leaving him for few seconds but again come the tears....so just gonna have a limpet till he gets over it :)

From his point of view when you leave his sight you are gone forever so he is genuinely terrified. He doesn't have the understanding yet that you are still close by and will soon return. I would be anxious if someone I loved kept disappearing and I didn't know if they would ever return.

He won't learn that you will return until he has the mental structures he needs to build that understanding. That's something that comes with maturity, not experience so it's not a case of 'he has to learn'. He's probably just startibg to get to grips with this concept and you can see it when he drops a toy and then he begins to lean over the side of the pushchair to look for it rather than just accepting that it's gone. Playing peek-a-boo games will help him to develop this understanding when he's ready.

You just need to try to stay in sight like others have said. Once he understands that you are only in the next room and will return he'll stop stressing. It can be quite draining but it really is easier not to fight it.

Yes Buffy I know what you mean. DS is the happiest little chap the rest of the time, so I feel awful when he gets upset.

Al1son, thanks for the detail. I see what you mean. It's strange though as he loves peek-a-boo, it doesn't seem to bother him at all. I think it's when he sees me actually walk away, as though I'm deliberately abandoning him. Poor love.

I'll just suck it up and hope it doesn't last too long then.

Thanks very much!