I spent an hour today stuck on a play bus with 20 5 year olds - I was the only parent who had to stay !

[Witchycat]

Took my 4 year old to a party today. Party was a 5th birthday & about of his school friends were there. Venue was one of those converted buses made into a soft play area. Apart from the driver and the play leader I was the only adult.

Why does everyone else's kid just get on with it and have fun at parties while my ds clings to me for up to an hour before he decides it's ok & he'll join in.

He said it was ok for me to go when they were having their food and afterwards he said 'why didn't you leave me alone like everyone else?' as if I should have done & there was no problem.

Is he taking the p*ss ?
Should I be worried about his reluctance to join in?
Should I give up & stop taking him to parties or get hard & run off when we get there?

Get hard and run off!

DP says we should either bring him straight home or dump him & run but I can't help thinking that would just freak him out - not to mention freaking out the parents left dealing with him having hysterics. On the other hand though, I'm sure he'd get more into the whole party thing if he didn't have me to hide behind.

Well I feel for you; though the "dump him and run" approach seems very harsh! That said, does he separate ok from you when going to school? If so, try reminding him it's no different really, with the same children but in a different place. I speak as a mother who, when ds1 was 4, was the last mother in the class to be stuck at parties while everyone else went off leaving relaxed happy children. Mine suddenly grew out of it; but could you try hooking up with another mother whose child is invited, and "appointing" the other child as a special "guardian" for the party? In return, you could invite other child over to play another day.