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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

My 3 year old reduced me to tears HELP!

10 replies

KatieLouise86 · 30/04/2011 10:28

My son has just turned 3 and this weekend he has been extra bad to the point that this morning he has reduced me to tears. He's not listening, he does the complete opposite to what he is asked. He helps himself to the fridge and Iv asked him on many many occasions to ask first. I was upstairs sorting washing out and I came down to find he had climbed up on the side board and emptied all the plants out of the fish tank. I don't know what to do anymore, I feel as if I am loosing the plot and I can't cope. I just want him to listen and to be nice, I can't turn my back for 2 minutes, I can't trust him
Please help me :(

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TheMonster · 30/04/2011 10:31

Stairgates everywhere! The Lindam ones that screw into the wall are the hardest to open.

heksie · 30/04/2011 10:36

Sounds like he might be bored? Can you give him an activity to do before you go off and do chores or ge him involved in a game to help you. I used to lock the kitchen as mine constantly 'steals' now he has his own drawer in the fridge so he can take the food he wants from his own stash when he is hungry and we don't shout at him as much now!

Original poster

KatieLouise86 · 30/04/2011 10:36

BodyOfEetoyre,
We had one of them but because out door frames are metal and about a MM thick he was able to break it off the frame because theres nothing for the screws to hold onto, My door frames are really narrow as well so I can only use the Lindam ones on the doors but they wouldnt last. I have a stairgate at the top of the stairs but thats all. Also my kitchen door is broken so its easy for him to get in. I've spoken to the housing but to them its not important, I cant fix it because its the conjement? the box that holds the electrical wires, its too big and I cant close the door.

OP posts:

manchestermummy · 30/04/2011 10:36

Second that - we have Baby Dan wooden ones and they are tricky too.

Perhaps also tell him what is expected of him, and that there will be sanctions if this does not happen. A friend of mine has a bowl of rubber balls. If her DS is good, a ball goes in. If he's naughty, a ball comes out. When there are 10 balls in the bowl he gets a present. It seems to be working to great effect.

It's hard over a BH weekend this like when stuff is closed, but ordinarily, do you get out much with him? It's worth checking out what your local children's centres offer as there are often great activities at very, very reasonable prices (our local one does a Jo Jingles type class for a fraction of the cost).

JarethTheGoblinKing · 30/04/2011 10:39

No, you can't trust him, he's 3!
I have a 3yo DS, so I know what it's like, believe me.

What happens when he helps himself to things out the fridge? Is he allowed to keep them or do they get taken from him?

In our house we made the lounge safe and stuck a stairgate on the door. Unfortunately he can now open the gate (one of the lindam screwed on ones incidentally - he can't do the kiddiguard rollerblind type ones yet though).

colditz · 30/04/2011 10:43

Don't leave him in rooms on his own, You can't trust him bcause he is a three year old boy. Neither of mine would have been trustworthy at three in the situation you describe.

next time, take him with you upstairs, and give him socks to ball.

WRT the more general naughty behavior - try to set your house up to prevent the undesirable behavior so he never gets to do it. Stairgate on your kitchen or bolt when you're not in it. Stairgate on his bedroom so he has to stay in there while you have a shower.

but expecting him to listen and be trustworthy is probably too much to ask - he's only just turned three and the world is full of fascinating things. Reverse a year and treat him as you did when he was two.

TheMonster · 30/04/2011 10:45

Whenever DS is left alone with DP he gets up to all sorts because DP thinks he doesn't need to keep an eye on him. You need to watch him like a hawk and know where he is at all times.

colditz · 30/04/2011 10:45

Also must add - you need to exercise him as if he were a dog. ALL boys are like dogs, but 3 year old boys are like Staffies and get destructive with boredom if they aren't exercised enough. He should be walking 2/3 miles a day, and running for at least 30 minutes.

Original poster

KatieLouise86 · 30/04/2011 10:46

Jareth - I take the items away from him and explain that he must tell me.

Manchestermummy - we have a star chart, he always has one in nursery and we have a free yearly pass to the aquarium too so we will go there if he has got enough stickers in the week. Also I work 4 days so he is n nursery these 4 day 7.30-6 so on a Friday we go to Music Makers which is dancing with all types of props etc. And weekends we go out with my friend who has a dog and Oliver loves running around with him or we go to softplay, the farm or to one of his friends houses.
He is a very energetic child so I have to do a lot with him but unfortunately I recently damaged my ankle so we have had to stay at my parents for about a week and now Iv had to crack on with the housework this weekend.

Katie x

OP posts:

JarethTheGoblinKing · 01/05/2011 02:06

Does he get them later?

Just thinking of DS. If he dares to help himself to the contents of the fridge until he has dinner then he has nothing.

You don't need to be to mobile - if you can get to a playground or green bit then just ;eave him to iy.

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