Hi everyone (I'm new!) long post sorry!

[Jenscho]

Hello there!
I hope this is in the right place! I came on mumsnet looking for a bit of info about my son's speech and development and have sat here for like an hour reading all the different threads about tantrums, speech etc and something really hit me!

Firstly, I'll tell you about my boys. James is 2 1/2. He is the most lovely, loving, caring little boy you could ever want to meet but my god, some of the tantrums he has would test a saint. He has slight problems with his speech and these problems I have put down to the size of his tonsils and adenoids (which he is having removed next week). He knows soooo many words but can't pronounce them properly, for example, our dog is called Pip, he calls her Dip! He couldn't get his head round the word mummy so I am now mammy (which I love!). Has anyone had their child's tonsils taken out this early and if so did their speech improve after it? I asked my HV for a referral for speech therapy for him, coz I reckoned it would be best for him to at least be on the waiting list and I could cancel if need be.

My other son, Freddie, is now 8 weeks old. He is a proper screamer when he wants some milk but apart from that he is a lovely, smiley baby, always gurgling away and giggling at us all, especially at James. He sleeps quite well too (!). James loves him sooo much but.... we got James off dummies before Freddie came along, now all he does is steal Freddies as soon as my back is turned! Does anyone have any ideas what I can do?! I have even given James his back (I know it won't help with his speech) but he still prefers his brothers!

Anyway, sorry for going on (my boys are brill, can't help going on about them!). The thing that hit me when I was reading everyone's posts....we all go through it! All of our kids have tantrums, all of them are naughty at times, we all lose our temper and want to kill them sometimes, we all worry about their development, we all want to boast about them (!), we all think our partner doesn't help out enough, we all feel alone sometimes, but.... (99% of the time) we wouldn't change what we have for the world!

Hello

I am pretty new here too but am finding all the information on here very helpful.... good to feel part of a gang rather than the only one it happens to :) Also I have noticed nobody uses children's names on here just DS/DD (darling son/darling daughter) I assumed this was to protect them from being identified.... maybe something to do with privacy in the child protection law? Not really 100% sure.

I don't know about the operation helping the speech part but I do know its a fairly straight forward op so shouldn't be worried about too much.

I do however have first hand experience on the dummy front! When I was pregnant with DS2 (now 14months) my DD was 1.7 years and I wanted her to give up the dummy before he was born she had pretty much given them up anyway and used them mostly at night. I did the supernanny give your dummies to the dummy fairy and in exchange she was given a toy. This worked fine dummies given up and she asked for them for 1 or 2 nights after but then stopped. But then DS2 was born she was then 2.4years and she became obsessed that he had a dummy she would hear it fall on the floor even if she was in another room and come running.... it was almost comical the way she knew EXACTLY where each dummy was then about 4 months ago when she was just 3 she started putting them in her mouth, she won't take them off him but if he drops it she runs for it and hides with it.... she sits behind the curtain or hides under a blanket with it.... I started off telling her off saying its for babies and she's a big girl but she just said no I a baby, so now I just ignore her, pretend I haven't seen she doesn't do it all the time probably once a day and I honestly don't see the harm DS2 will soon be weened and there will be no access to one so it will stop :)

I really wouldn't have given the dummy back, it will make it harder to take it away again (alot harder since he now thinks it can come back) but if your determined for him not to have a dummy you have to make it more final. Perhaps talk to him about reducing his own dummy to bedtime only and then after a while take it away?

Hi jenscho,
Personally havent heard of tonsils affecting speech but could be a possibility though, at 2 1/2 I think these are probably common speech/ pronounciation difficulties. My Ds 2 (4yrs) has some common speech difficulties ie f's in words come out as s's. youve spoken to your HV which is a great start and getting him on speech therapist list is possibly a good idea although from my experience it might take a bit of pestering/convincing as they always tell you each child developes differently.
As for the dummy problem I think its quite a common problem, as older children see their younger siblings with something thats been taken away from them it makes them still want it. If that makes sense? all I can suggest is perserverance and distraction which is hard I know but hopefully it will be quicker than you thought. Explain to your older DS that he has to give his dummys to his younger brother as hes a baby and needs it more or something along those lines.
Maybe someone else will have some better advice soon, if they havent already posted by the time ive written this lol.
Good luck.

Sorry, I meant to say he had given up the dummy in the day and had one to hold at night (barely used it) but now just goes up to his room and gets one if he fancies it!! I honestly don't think the dummy fairy or anything would work, he wouldn't have a clue what I was on about and just take his brothers anyway!!
The tonsils and speech thing, I think what I meant was the constant bouts of tonsilitis he has (every three weeks at the moment) and the ear infections he gets apparently as a result of his massively enlarged tonsils, I'm thinking he isn't hearing things properly them tries to say what he is hearing and it comes out wrong bless him! Gotta say though, I always find it funny when we are leaving places (especially the houses of elderly relatives) and he waves and shouts 'DIE' coz he can't pronounce bye properly!!

Hi Jenscho, a woman I once worked with had similar problems with her youngest DS. He was 2.5 and wasn't talking. The Health Visitor sent him to a specialist who said it was adenoids. As far as I can remember he was getting treatment and also saw a speech specialist for a while. Came on in leaps and bounds after that.

Hi there! You'll have to get a copy of a really funny story called "The Last Noo-noo", about a monster who had a penchant for dummies and wouldn't give his up. this
It probably won't help but may lighten your day. xx

Check out the other two books listed there too!

My DS1 had his tonsils and adenoids taken out at 2 1/2 but we had a huge huge battle to get them to do. They were so big they were affecting his speech to the extent that every single word he said sounded like it started with a b or a d...it sounded like he had a cold constantly. We saw ENT guys who said they wouldn't do as it wasn't affecting his health but we saw a consultant privately through DH's work...he didn't have any notes on him before the appointment so had no idea what we were there for but as soon as we went in and he said hello to DS and he replied the consultant said "he needs both his tonsils/adenoids taken out within the next 6 months".

I won't lie it was awful seeing him have the operation but when he came round he said "mummy" and it was crystal clear...you can guess that I burst into tears. He came on so so much after that and most of his huge tantrums stopped I presume because he could make himself understood so much easier.

He's 6 now and an absolute delight. He's bright,funny and very articulate(he literally never stops talking!) and Im so proud of him.