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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

8 yr old dd - talking in baby voice driving me mad - any advice?

26 replies

ilovecake · 29/04/2011 21:43

DD seems to spend 80% of her time talking to me and my husband in a babyish lisping voice - been going on for at least year but seems to be getting worse. She doesn't have problems with her speech and i have asked her teacher who seemed amazed as she said she is so mature in school. I've really tried ignoring it and/or saying "please talk to me in a clear voice" but its not reducing! Now when she enters the room i am on edge with frustration because i know she is going to do it and so i am tense around her - it is really affecting how i feel about her. Does anyone else have this with their child or have any advice?

OP posts:

Pagwatch · 29/04/2011 21:46

DD does this.
I find "stop talking in that ridiculous voice or go to bed this second" works.
She stops.

CarGirl · 29/04/2011 21:47

I say to mine "I can't hear you when you use that XXXXX voice talk to me properly" if they don't then I don't respond.

Pagwatch · 29/04/2011 21:48

You do actually have to send her to bed btw.

I assume it is attention seeking so I combine the " stop that, it drives me potty!" with
" that is better. I love hearing your proper voice - come have a hug my lovely girl"

Original poster

ilovecake · 29/04/2011 21:52

That made me laugh pag! It's hard to notice the positive when my teeth are grinding in annoyance. Glad to hear not just my dd. Must train myself to ignore and say such nice things as you suggest pag when she does speak clearly.

OP posts:

Mummyloveskisses · 29/04/2011 21:56

I'm sorry I don't have experience of this but what about taking away or stopping something that makes her a big girl.... for example a magazine she gets, or maybe there is a club she goes to, or do you let her play out or round a friends house? Something she has only begun since being a big girl?

As I don't know you or her its harder to advise sorry :)

I would also give the ignoring another go... maybe put some music on and sing along.... give your brain something else to think about.... it is very hard to ignore them I know

Hope that did help x

Original poster

ilovecake · 29/04/2011 22:00

Thanks mummyloves - the nagging doesn't work. She has recently got into moshimonsters so i could withdraw that or letting her walk up to the shop independently? And must try some distraction for me.

OP posts:

Mummyloveskisses · 29/04/2011 23:18

Perfect! Moshimonsters is definately for big girls only

Maiasaurus · 29/04/2011 23:24

I have no advice, sorry, but you must deal with it.

DD has a friend who started talking in a simpering, lisping voice at about 7. She's 10 now and does it all the time .

DD finds it hilarious, and says she only (but always) does it to adults. She's got a normal voice when she's chatting with her friends.

I hate it and it is the only reason I discourage her coming round to ours. Other than the voice, she's a sweetie.

Original poster

ilovecake · 30/04/2011 09:39

yes maiasaurus i am feeling if i don't address it now it wil become entrenched. My dd is a good girl who has so many lovely qualities but i find it hard to see them when she behaves like this. Thanks.

OP posts:

NotaMopsa · 30/04/2011 09:54

I empathise - a few of mine have done this. Ds is now 8 and we have had patches of it. A brusque ' I can't hear you - use your bug boy voice please' does the trick. It's habit as much as anything but no idea why it happens. Something to do with realising small people are sweet I assume. Lambs!

NotaMopsa · 30/04/2011 09:55

'Big boy' of course (silly phone)

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 30/04/2011 09:59

My DS does this too!Luckily it's not too entrenched yet but I will take note of all the strategies.

farkthatforagameofsoldiers · 30/04/2011 16:17

I do the pretending I can't understand thing if they are speaking in a silly tone, aggressively, tantrumy etc, just keep saying "sorry, what, sorry, can't understand when you talk like that". That works but I like Pagwatch's suggestion too .

NotaMopsa · 30/04/2011 20:15

yes rather like Willy Womker in the new Charlie and the Chocolate factory
That technique is fab - 'sorry i can't hear you - move along now'

Carrotsandcelery · 30/04/2011 20:19

Both of mine have done this and Pagwatch's strategy works a treat.

Original poster

ilovecake · 30/04/2011 23:34

Ah yes notamopsa - move along now! Glad to hear others have done it and come out the tother side.

OP posts:

PassTheTwiglets · 01/05/2011 07:53

My 8yo does this too and I LOATHE it. But rather than thinking of ways to punish it, or how to stop it, I would try to think of what is causing it. Does she have a younger sibling who needs more attention than she does (eg. with changing nappies)? Does she have any problems at school? There could be any number of reasons why she is doing it and if you address the reason then you may be able to stop it. 8 is a difficult time - on the one hand they are expected to be quite self-sufficient (especially at school) but they are still only little too! Maybe she is struggling with the older side of things and wants to revert back to when thinkgs were simpler for her? My DD doesn't like school and I think she sees that her younger brother doesn't go to school so she thinks "hey, if I was a baby too I wouldn't have to go to school either...".

So you have my sympathies but I really don't think it should be punished. I wouldn't worry about it getting entrenched - I can't think of any adults who talk like babies :) I say ignore (whilst teeth-grinding!) and it will go away in time.

MoreBeta · 01/05/2011 08:14

Yes DS2 at 7/8 used to do it. I think to compete with his older brother by being 'the baby' of the family. He also used to combine lisping with talking really quiet with his thumb in his mouth.

Agree with others. A sharp 'I can't hear what you are saying so go away and come back when you want to talk to me properly'.

Obviously I know full well DS2 hs no speech impediment at all.

ggirl · 01/05/2011 08:24

Loads of kids do this , tis v annoying.
Ds's mate does it loads.
Thought it was phase most children went tthrough

Original poster

ilovecake · 01/05/2011 20:27

Dd has little brother who is 5. I think i probably do have high expectations of dd because of her age and that she is looking for attention. I am trying to be conscious of this and make sure she gets time to act her age and still be my little girl.

OP posts:

NeverendingStoryteller · 04/05/2011 15:15

Urgh, the horrible habits they all pick up! My youngest used to wipe his mouth so much that he started getting sores around his mouth, the oldest has gone through stages of baby voice, squealing, and saying 'like' half way through sentences. I've tackled all of these habits with the same strategy - they get a week's grace in which I pick up on every instance of them doing it, and after a week, they get a consequence every time they engage in the habit (usually sitting on the stairs, bored, for ten or fifteen minutes). We have found that it has broken most habits in under two weeks (but maybe we've just been lucky?). We tell them how the 'system' is going to work in advance, and we remind them as they get closer to the end of the 'grace' week. Mine hate being sat out of play, so they try hard to correct it by themselves. Good luck!

bottersnike · 04/05/2011 15:24

Ds1 has just started doing this! We find that saying "use your normal voice please" and not responding until he does so works.
As others have said, I think it is a reaction to realising that he is getting bigger and wants to secure our attention by being "cute". We are trying to spend more time with him to ensure he realises that he does not have to be cute to be really really loved.

Da1ryQueen · 04/05/2011 22:31

Ditto Bottersnike - I can't "hear" unless you speak in a proper voice. it does work, they don't like being ignored

Tidey · 04/05/2011 22:33

My first thought was 'take away everything that can only be used by children over 3, leaving her with nothing but baby toys' but I'm probably horrible.

activate · 04/05/2011 22:36

make her repeat everything in a normal voice

praise the normal voice

ban the baby voice

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