Over sensitive 3 yr old

[inverjoe]

New to this site but looking for any mums with some advice to help me with a very sensitive 3 yr old. Up until 10 days ago was very content and wellish behaved toddler, been at same nursery since she was 6 months and loved it now all of sudden she's breaking down when I drop her off and the staff say she's very emotional throughout day. They found her crying in the toilet today! they say nothing has happened there to trigger this and she hasn't had an issue with any other children. It's starting to spread to home life , will collapse in tears at being told off or asked to do something when I ask if anything wrong she says no, and if I ask why she's been crying at nursery she simply says she was crying for me! It's all getting very hard to deal with my instinct is there's been an incident but spoke to all staff and they say no. If it was a tantrum I could deal with it or is this another form of tantrum ??? What do I do? Comfort ? Discipline? Try distraction ? Arrghh

I sometimes go through phases with ds who gets like this, he is also 3.I find he can go through it when he has had a change of routine, or if he is more tired than usual. Hopefully this will be the same in your case but it is very hard.

I would see how she goes, just reasure her that you will be there and that she will be ok at nursery and you will see her and have time together.Try loads of cuddles for now and see if that helps.

Hope things get better as I know how it feels and it is very hard and also upsetting for you and her.

My just turned 3 yr old DD is like this and has been for about 3 months. She has some days when she is ok and others when she cries hysterically for ridiculous things. They're not tantrums, just real big tears. I have told myself that although she is generally an articulate, smiley type she is still not old enough to really understand her feelings or know how to express them, but is now old enough to be sensitive to her environment and changes around her. Keep up the cuddles and reassurance, but not excessive attention and fingers crossed it will pass (that's what I'm hoping anyway !).

Tiredness can count for a lot. My 4.5 is generally pretty robust, but when tired will have tears over the most tiny ridiculous things.

I would comfort and re-assure, try to get her more sleep.

I could almost have written your OP. DD has been going to the same nursery for years but she suddenly started crying when I left her - proper, uncontrollable, clinging to me, crying . We seem to be over it now but I'm afraid it did last about 6 months off and on. She also did the bursting into tears if I told her off (after pushing me to the point where it was unavoidable ). She's also been through a stage of waking in the night for the first time since she was a baby so I suspect a lot of it hasn't been helped by tiredness.

She turns 4 next week and the last few weeks seem to have been much better - sleeping, not crying at pre school and being generally much better behaved

Sorry - no advice but just so you know you're not alone. I found 3 much more difficult than the "terrible twos" I was warned about !

OP - sounds familiar with me too! DD is 2.9 and has been attending nursery (with no problems) since she was 1. For the past couple of weeks we have had tears when dropping her off (clinging to my legs and sitting on floor) and she has also been having tantrums and crying episodes over the course of the morning. When I have asked her why she has been getting upset she just says " because I wanted my mummy" or "because I wanted more cuddles". She gives the same reasons to nursery staff too. I am confident that nothing has happened at nursery as she is a very articulate little girl and would tell me I'm sure. Also, she seems happy up until the point that I leave her in the room. Outside of nursery she has also been a lot more temperamental - the slightest little thing and she either cries or has a tantrum. I am hoping it is just a phase - and think it could possibly be related to us having a fairly new baby (almost 5mths) and her feeling a bit insecure. I am just trying to reassure her lots and also (rightly or wrongly) offer incentives to going to nursery (afternoon trips to her favourite places etc)
It's so hard though and I find it very upsetting when she gets like this - particularly when dropping her off at nursery. Sorry I can't offer any real advice but just wanted to let you know that it's not uncommon!