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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

why does my 3 year old hate me?

6 replies

WrensNest · 27/04/2011 20:23

Just had an evening where it started well but as soon as dinner was on the table I had my 3yo start screaming that he wanted mummy to go away. Hubby and I tried to calm him but anything I said sent him back to saying mummy go away, I don't want mummy.

I get this a lot, hubby and I work full time, I do drop offs at nursery and he does half the pick ups. Dad is very obviously the favorite (always has been) and is asked for if he falls over etc. DS comes in to our bedroom in the morning as as DH has left for work I get 'I want daddy' for 90 mins until nusery time. It's heart breaking for me. I don't do anything differnet from DH in terms of nice v nasty stuff, disipline, food etc. We are totally aligned.

How can I get him to like me!!??

OP posts:

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SybilBeddows · 27/04/2011 20:26

he'll grow out of it.
honestly, just you wait.
they go through phases at that age. But it can be soul-destroying, I know.

ffried · 27/04/2011 20:32

try to sometimes do the pick up, if necessary baby him a bit. try to bond with him doing activities just the two of you to bring u closer together

gkys · 27/04/2011 20:39

hes three its his job, its horrible but it will improvexx

girliefriend · 27/04/2011 20:40

He doesn't know how to hate you he just is so secure in your love for him that he feels safe enough to test you iyswim?!

Keep doing what you are doing, he will eventually come back to you Don't take it personally.

albania · 27/04/2011 20:41

Oh god bless you.
It's usually the parent that is seen the least that's the favourite, so if that's the case then there's nothing to worry about - it's usual at this age I'd say.

schmee · 27/04/2011 20:45

Think ffried's advice is really good and it's something I'm trying to remember with one of my four-year-olds who doesn't like me very much at the moment. I'm trying to do more stuff like blowing a raspberry on his tummy or tickling his toes. If he's being unfriendly, do something really silly/clowning around, to snap him out of it.

Also, rather than trying to calm him, I think you could ask your DH to say: "we do not speak to mummy like that". If your DH withdraws approval and attention when your DS behaves like this that may help.

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