clingy baby

[hopingtowantasecond]

My 5 month old doesn't like to be picked up by anyone but me! And hasn't done for a few weeks now. Tolerates his father. DS will cry (tears and everything) as soon as anyone else holds him, even if i am there trying to be reassuring. Any advice please? What am I doing wrong?

Probably nothing, they go through these attachment anxiety phases. I have a very clingy 13mo. He had been like this at various points. He's just coming out the other side of such a phase at the moment.

On his first birthday he wouldn't let anyone else hold him throughout the whole party. Thabkfully now he's back to being passed to most people with little fuss.

Not sure what to advise apart from to just ride it out and if someone else is holding him make sure you are in eyesight. Sometimes even that didn't work for me though..

You are not doing anything wrong, your baby is expressing his preference for you. In a few months he may prefer his father to you and leave you yet again wondering what you are doing wrong (again nothing).

My dd2 refused to go near anyone wearing perfume for a long time (or anybody eating mints!!!)

Sometimes it is easier to go with what they like and hope relatives don't take offence.

Hiya, I wrote a very similar post a few weeks ago. DD2, now 6.5mths, still will not go to anyone except me or DH, but she does seem to be getting more tolerant of other people! At the weekend me and DH hid upstairs at his mums house and let his mum get DD2 up from her nap in pram and then give her tea, and all with only a little bit of a whimper!! Am dead chuffed about that :) and am sure it only worked because me and DH were out of sight, if she'd seen us she would have screamed for one of us to "rescue" her. She started this clingyness about 5 months, and was so bad at one stage that she just cried if anyone dared to speak to her, let alone try to pick her up. I was at my wits end, and felt that I must have done something to make her so clingy, but I honestly dont think I've treated her any different (well maybe a few extra cuddles as I know she'll be my last one)to my other two DC's and they were not clingy like her at all.

Everyone kept saying its prob just a phase that she'll grow out of, and I am hoping that they are all right!

Thanks everyone. It's nice to know it's probably not me and just a phase. DH is feeling a bit put out as are the grandparents (who live far away so have had very little contact). I get criticised because I comfort DS and don't leave him crying. I feel I will have to keep offending the relatives until he grows out of this phase.

You shouldn't be criticised, you can't 'ruin' such a small baby with too much comfort. You are doing the right thing and sound like a lovey mum

Yes, really normal. My 15 m.o. DS has had separation anxiety with DH & me since about 7 months. I'm lucky that DH is around a lot which has helped it not just be me.

Since 7 months DS hasn't agreed to be held or left with anyone else. Only now is he starting to be happy to play with one of the grandparents on his own for 5 or 10 minutes. It's improved all the time though - at first he wouldn't even look at or 'talk' to strangers, whereas for the last few months he's chatted to people really happily as long as one of us is around.

Most babies become extra clingy with their mums when working on a (mental) developmental leap - common developmental leaps are at 26, 37, 46, 55, 64 and 75 weeks.