I need help with 18 month old

[mrspear]

Hi

Really upset. A mum complained rather loudly today about my DS. He is 18 months actual (he was prem). He gets too close to other children. He does touch faces normally he is trying to stroke but this can turn into hitting. If another child tries to take a toy he is playing with he gives out a loud growl.

How do i stop this? I am crying now as feel like such a shit mother.

I do say no and say gentle. I rung DH and all he did was try to make a joke.

I need suggestions.

You need to remove him if he's being rough, and remind him to touch gently. You will need to show him what you mean by 'gentle'.

18 months is too young to know about sharing, so I'd not worry about the growling.

He sounds totally normal to me - you sound like you're handling it well.

You're not a shit mother, he's 18 months old and learning how to share / interact with others. Maybe the other mother will soon find out that kids are kids! As long as you're keeping an eye and showing your DS how to stroke and be gentle, that is all any reasonable mum would expect! Try not to worry, let it be water off a ducks back, she sounds barking to be honest.

The other mother is being unreasonable!!

Thank you for your kind messages. Still struggling not to cry. I don't want to take him to play groups but i suppose that would make him worse. I just want him to play nicely!

If it's any consolation, my 14 month old thinks scratching at the moment is hilarious (I'm cutting his finger nails every couple of days atm!). They all go through a biting, hitting or something else stage, best to do it at this age, than when they are 8 or 9!

Books I've read about boys say it's not till age 3+ that most of them really get the idea of social play. I think sharing is a really difficult concept - how happy would you be for example if you were happily driving your car then someone came along, chucked you out of the driver's seat and drove off in it without warning?

I wouldn't stop going to playgroups - I can't see how it'll make him worse, and it'll give you more opportunities to teach him (again, and again, and again - but that's what children need).

It's the other mother with the problem not your Ds!

My Ds can be the same (he is 17 months) they are hard concepts for them to learn!

Thank you everyone for your kind replies. I shall continue with no and removal. A childminder kept telling me not to worry but i was mortified. I know i sound like a drama queen but i am normally told that he is a happy chap!

I agree with the others that the other mum was unreasonable.

Regarding the 'touch gently' you can practice a lot on each other. Someone above said that boys are worse, this could be because girls are given dolls more often and are encouraged to stroke gently the dolls?