DD (3) doesn't like her DH much....

[EllieG]

DD has always been a bit of a mummy's girl, simply because I guess I was around more and have always been primary carer, though DH is a very hands-on Dad. Recently however she has started to be actively rejecting DH and is constantly saying things like 'No I don't love Daddy go away I just love Mummy'

This obviously gives me no pleasure at all - I have never encouraged her to be clingy to me, I love it when she is close to her Dad. He has responded to this by spending extra time with her and doing more stuff that I would usually do, which she loves, but then if I am around she starts being all anti-Daddy again.

I had a chat with her and said that when she tells Daddy she doesn't love him it makes him sad etc, and she said, I'll tell him I love him very very much to make him happy, which she did, but the next day was back to behaving like a right little stinker!

Any advice on how to deal? DH is starting to get a bit disheartened and I'm not sure what is the best way to approach.

Isn't she a little young to be married

It's perfectly normal for a child to go through phases of preferring one parent to another. However, she needs to realise that telling people, including her daddy, to go away is rude and unacceptable.

No, I married her off early for tax reasons....

oops. My Dh

Sorry, couldn't resist. Having similar problems just now with DD2 the same age. She constanty cries for me when DH is dealing with her no matter whether its a nice thing they're doing or something like going to bed when she really doesn't ant to.

he's getting a bit fed up too and I'm really worn down by all the 'love'. Sympathise but can't say anymore other than keep persevering. Botgh DDs have gone through phases of not liking Daddy and they've both come rounds when they were younger so hopefully its just a phase.

She'll get over it. My DTDs went through this when they were 2. Unfortunately we were on holiday at the time, with my parents, my sister, her DH and their two DDs. My poor DH got quite upset by it. Both my girls did it, and explaining that it was making Daddy sad made little difference. The only fortunate thing about being with my entire family was that it reminded my sis and bro-in-law that their eldest DD had done exactly the same thing when she was about 3, so a least DH didn't feel that he was the only person ever to experience this. It went on for no more than 3 weeks, then the girls were back to being Daddy's girls again.

It'll pass.

Yes, I have been quite strict on the 'go away' stuff, as it's just rude, so she gets no sympathy (in fact quite the opposite) when she tries that one, and that is sinking in gradually. She's a stubborn little bugger spirited child so that kind of stuff always means a battle, but am quite prepared for them.

Can he take her to the park on his own or you go out and leave them to have fun together. It is pretty normal though, personally having a chat with her makes it into an issue though.

Jbck - worn down by the love it exactly how I feel at times! Sometimes I think if I hear 'Mummmmeee cuuudddle meeee!' one more time I might hide under the table.

They have been doing loads together more lately, he has made a point of spending time with her without me (gives me a chance to spend time with DSD too) but still same when get back.....sigh....it sounds like something that we'll just have to wait to pass I guess, judging from what people are saying. I will try to pay less attention perhaps.

DD2 has started having the most horrendous tantrums in the last couple of weeks. Thought I'd got off too lightly. She's 3.5 next month and I can't believe the venom from my little angel. She's was always a lot better behaved thatn DD1 but she's making up for it just now so she's obviously just asserting herself in all ways she can.

Dear God let it pass soon

Oh well at least it's not just mine I feel somewhat heartened in a misery-loves-company kind of way. DD is a little pig at times, stamping, shouting, drumming feet, just delightful.

My DS went through exactly the same thing and it really upset both me and DH.

At first we tried to talk DS out of it, but it just made things worse.

In the end DH just played more with DS and that seems to have sorted things out. I think also it was just a phase too - definitely in fact.

DS is now just 4 and totally out of it, as far as we can tell. In fact he often prefers now to be with his dad and tells me to leave them to it!

I will hold on to that then skewiff! Am looking forward to the day when I get told to leave in favour of Daddy!

I have nothing helpful to add, except to say DD (3.4years) is doing the exact same thing.... and god how exhausting it can be.... just one night of Daddy reading stories would be nice :)

It is really good to read I am not alone.... even better to read they grow out of it x

Ds4 is doing this now, Ellie so obviously it's an age thing!

No-one is allowed to do anything for him but me. "No Mammy do it!" is the mantra around here.

Ah...tis all normal then...if wearisome. Oh well, it will pass then, before long we'll just be an embarrassment to them so suppose should enjoy it.