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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

O/H insists on Forcing my Toddler to eat :(

35 replies

BoyMeetsWorld · 23/04/2011 13:04

OK, so my LO is generally a good boy (does have killer tantrums & bouts of aggression but hey, he's 2) but has become a bit of a fussy eater since he turned 1.5...

My husband is ADAMANT that the "tough love" approach of forcing him to eat by telling him off / sitting there for hours, using bribes & threats if he won't eat & the naughty corner as a last resort is the way forward. I HATE this & can see it leading to eating disorders etc. He says I'm undermining him if I don't support his methods.

What do other mums think???

OP posts:

heymammy · 23/04/2011 18:46

Surely your DH is undermining you by not supporting your method . He's being an arse and a bully...to a 2 year old

LynetteScavo · 23/04/2011 18:47

I think it is so, so wrong.

Meow75 · 23/04/2011 18:52

Remind your DH that from the age just before independent mobility until about 5 when a child can understand the consequences of eating something that might make them ill, they are programmed to dislike foods that could be construed to be bitter, as these taste sensations are more likely to represent a poisonous. This is why kids who can walk like sweet things.

I hope my post makes sense. I'm typing on my phone and can't see the whole of my post all at once. It's basically survival instinct.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 23/04/2011 18:58

OP where are you? Please stand up for your son...my DH has some strong ideas too....due mainly to his bullying parents who have damaged him with hitting him with wooden spoon, leaving him alone and other things...when my DH gets the wrong idea as to what is acceptable I simpy undermine him....do as I KNOW is correct....and due to my DH being able to open up to me about his childhood, he later understand why I did it. He is therwise a great Dad...but his judgement is sometimes skewed.

Has your OH had a crappy childhood?

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 23/04/2011 18:59

IS that right meow? How fascinating! My DD hates bitter or spicy things...she''s 3 ...make sense!

Treadmillmom · 23/04/2011 21:08

I have 3 children aged 2.5, 5 & 7 and have followed the same approach with all 3.
There isn't a 2 year old in this world who isn't fickle.

If he doesn't don't eat his meal, clear away your plates leaving your son's. Tell him he can leave the table but have his dinner later.
If he asks for an alternative, tell him his dinners on the table. If he asks for a treat, tell him his dinners on the table.
When my youngest was 2 she twice painfully experienced her older siblings eating treats, they'd eaten thier tea, she hadn't.
Each time I gently reminded her her tea was on the table.
Third time, she of her own choice climbed back up to the table, ate as much as she could and got her pudding.
I now have 3 kids who eat like horses a very wide variety of meals, in fact I can't keep up.

Blu · 23/04/2011 22:18

I wouldn't give treats as a reward for eating a main course. Or as a reward for anything. And it doesn't sound like a tactic the OP should suggest to her DH, as it may confuse the 'no threadts, no bribes, no pressure' approach she needs to get her DH to understand and adpot.

microserf · 24/04/2011 20:49

oh my goodness.

our just turned 2 toddler often refuses food for no reason. we have a couple of tries of persuading her to eat and try not to offer alternatives - i have cracked a couple of times if the meal she is offered is new and unfamiliar. if she doesn't want it, we let her get down from the table. we find she often comes back to the meal if she is hungry - we leave it on the table for another hour max and then it's cleared.

she always has a bottle before she goes to bed, so never goes to bed hungry.

your dh is very misguided about his approach here and is storing up trouble for years to come, and not just for food/eating issues. your post made me , your dh needs an urgent reality check. could the hv or gp talk it through with you both to tell him it's not right?

thisisyesterday · 24/04/2011 20:53

i think your husband is a prize knob.

he is going to create MASSIVE issues around food, if he hasn't already :(

i feel very sorry for your son and i think you need to stand up for him and simply not allow your husband to do this any longer.

Meow75 · 24/04/2011 22:57

Yes, Skinitting,

Because human babies are so relatively immature for their brain size at birth, evolution has given them this defence against eating stuff that might poison them.

Unfortunately, taste buds can't tell the difference between potentially poisonous white berries (mistlotoe berries are poisonous) and a white strawberry that is unripe and so not so sweet but basically not bad for you.

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