How sexually aware at 5?

[Mrspedro]

I care for a 5.5yo boy & 4yo girl (not related) and the little boy is v advanced academically etc they play well & generally are Bessie mates :)
However some time back he showed her his penis which I took as being totally normal as far as curiosity etc was concerned,he never spoke of terms inappropriately and appeared to aware of things in a healthy manner....
However since that occasion he asked the 4yo to "kiss my willy" it was explained this is inappropriate and he said he came up with this idea himself (hadn't heard it before ) and is totally aware this behaviour is not tolerated
I kinda assumed that was it - dealt with and over so to speak ...however recently he has created games to incorporate bum touching (pretend play:4yr old being baby,him changing nanny) and a game of story telling involving someone ripping off underwear....these 2occasions really were quite innocent but I guess it was his manner ...he was whispering both,unaware I could hear..

Overall he is a lovely little boy but I'm concerned for the 4yr old as she is a v innocent sweet little girl who has no idea or understanding of terms such as that used
They are never left on their own, however my concern is that when the little boy think they are he pounces in with 'willy talk'

Is this normal
5year old beh? And have u any
Tips on how to encourage play without this worry
It's really stressing me' out :(

I wouldn't say that is normal No. I have a nearly 5 year old boy and I would have alarm bells ringing if I heard any of his friends talking like that.

Showing off willy - yes, absolutely normal. Basic understanding of birds and the bees, yes normal (especially if younger siblings) - but I wouldn't expect that to even come up often.

But the other things you mention, I wouldn't say were that normal, no.

Are you the childminder for this child? I would personally be getting quite concerned for what the boy is being exposed to. And of course the girl should not be being exposed or touched in private places by the boy and both should be having it reinforced about privacy etc.

Agree with Boleyn, showing off willy and having a general idea of babies and conception normal for the age, but this sounds a bit more. It sounds to me like he was come across something - whether in RL or on the telly- that has disturbed him and is now acting it out.

I agree, I have a 5 YO boy, he showed his penis in nursery however I believe it was a case of all the boys doing it and wafting it about.

Anyhow I don't think it's normal for a 5 yo - DS certainly doesn't know terms like 'kiss my willy' or ripping off nickers - he's more interested in his cars/climbing/mud & digging and girls are well smelly/not there to play with it's the boys you play with.

if this was my DD id be concerned about the boy being around her and from the POV with the boy i'd worry what was going on at home. sounds like he maybe seeing/hearing more than he should do.

fwiw, ref the conception DS thinks the baby's got in my tummy by my swallowing it, and has now said that he will come out by me putting a towel over my tummy. (previously to that he climbed the ladder and came out my mouth) this is normal I think for a 5 year old?

Lol@the ladder...appreciate the replies everyone

Sorry I should have been clearer,yes I'm his CM & 4yo is my dd1....

Little boys mum is mortified/v concerned & I really don't believe he was exposed to anything tho might possibly put on the wrong DVD?!
His dad did say he feels he's
Becoming more aware "gets an erection in the bath& likes and gets excited about being washed " was what he said...again having no boys I assume this is normal too??
I suppose I posted cos feeling really frustrated ...dd seemed oblivious to the incident ..then last nite we were talking about kissing an injury better & and she said "yeah like kissing X's willy " .....she starts school in sept & those phrases are the
Last thing is want her saying (understandably !!!)
Ohhhhhhh the stress of it -and I'm usually
Relaxed but this is giving me' right headache :( :( :(

I think you could do some serious work on bodies and which bits are private and what sort of talking is appropriate. If you post on the Childminders board, someone will probably recommend some things you could do and some books that you could use. You could use some dolls with the boy to demonstate what sort of play is ok when playing for example, babies, and which invade the other person's private space. I dont think it is particularly normal to talk about willy kissing, I think my six and four year olds would find this a ridiculous and revolting thing!! Also I personally can say that my boys really dont get "excited" about being washed....quite the opposite, ds1 actually prefers to avoid it all together, and ds2 is fairly resigned! Saying that, some kids do enjoy having a fiddle because it feels nice, etc, and that is pretty normal. If I was the boy's dad, though, I would be encouraging the boy to wash himself and reinforce that any fiddling goes on in bedroom in private not as a family bathtime activity lol!!

God, If I learned to use paragraphs, that would be a good thing... sorry!

DS is the same tbh - he will wash himself (gets quite upset if I try now as he's got his shower gel and puff thingy so he gets on wit it)

I must say he usually does get an erection in the bath - or at least pulls/tugs & does all mannor of things i'm sure he really shouldn't, he calls it his 'big willy' however he's swiftly told to stop messing about as no one wants to see his winkle (fwiw that's only with me not XH, DP or mum). Perhaps the dad also needs to have a chat to his DS about 'winkle ettiquite' as we call it - this is when XH is left to have the man to man chat with him about what he should/shouldn't be doing with it.

Also, I don't really think it's appropiate for those sorts of DVD's/pics/materials to be left about for a 5 YO to watch - even programmes on the tv are changed in the event of something sexual coming on the tv.

also agree have a talk with them both about the sort of play that's ok and that that's not. But I think at the moment if you're confident nothing is happening at home then it shouldn't be made into a huge deal where the boy feels he's doing something to be ashamed of - and likewise your DD doesn't feel it's something she shouldn't be able to talk to you about. a tricky balance.

No, most definitely does not sound normal (apart from the wavimg about of willy!) in my experience of boys. Some good advice on how to deal with it above, however I would say that most self fiddling (is that a term?!) will quickly lead to little erections so wouldn't overly worry about the bathtime comment.

Ok..tnx girls
Totall agree re.DVDs etc ,that's a presumption on my part
Didn't kno there was a CM forum-cheers :)