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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Eating with hands, at what age is this a definite no-no?

12 replies

madaboutcows · 19/04/2011 13:35

My little fella is 2 next month, and refuses to eat with a spoon I know he can do it, he did it once...! but now he won't let me help him with eating/ using a spoon at all, if I try the food ends up on the floor. So I leave him to it and he puts the spoon to one side and uses his fingers. Difficult and revolting to watch with soup :)

Anyway, what are other peoples experiences? Let him get on with it? at what age is it just gross to see a child not using cutlery?

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TheProvincialLady · 19/04/2011 13:43

My DS2 is 2.3 and still won't eat with cutlery. It'a very difficult to make them, especially when you have a child who doesn't particularly want to eat anyway.

I don't like to see 2 year olds eating without cutlery but that's tough luck on me really isn't it?! I will keep encouraging him and he will get there evenually.

Seona1973 · 19/04/2011 13:50

my 4 year old still has a tendency to use his hands - he holds a fork in one hand and picks up food with the other!! I have to keep reminding him to use his cutlery but he soon forgets and the fingers go in again! He does use a spoon for yoghurts thank goodness!

mrspear · 19/04/2011 13:53

I am watching with interest! My DS is only 18 months (151/2 months corrected!) and tries to eat with either a folk or spoon (depending on the food) but usually ends up with hands in as well! My mum asked today when we were out for lunch when i am going to train him better!

Tgger · 19/04/2011 18:32

My 4.5 year old prefers his hands quite a lot! Not with yoghurts etc but with quite a lot of stuff.
I am very relaxed about it as in some cultures they use their hands all the time- cutlery is rather a modern invention, however I'm hoping that as he grows up and sees peers using cutlery he will want to follow suit more consistently.

Tee2072 · 19/04/2011 19:08

Fingers were made before forks.

My 22 month old can use a spoon and does for things like porridge but otherwise he uses his fingers.

I have no problem with this.

exoticfruits · 19/04/2011 19:21

As long as they can use a knife and fork by school I think you are OK.

hulda · 19/04/2011 19:38

Don´t worry, it will help with his finer motor skills :)
He will eventually want to use cutlery like you and his friends. Eating with your hands is normal in many cultures so he is not alone!

lindsell · 19/04/2011 19:38

My 2yo (just 2) has just started wanting to use cutlery more especially a little knife to cut up his bread but when he's really hungry he gives up and uses his hands to shovel his food in I'm hoping he'll be properly using cutlery by the time he's 3...

MakeAnotherCuppa · 19/04/2011 22:09

my 3.3 DD still uses fingers - she gets in a right state and it gets very boring keep saying 'use your fork' so i only say it once as soon as i place her food in front of her. she's getting bettter when she eats with other children but i wouldnt worry too much- just go with it :)

Original poster

madaboutcows · 20/04/2011 09:02

Thanks all! Seems the consensus is to let him carry on and just not worry about it! Hey, if you can't make a mess when you're 2, then when can you :)

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Stevedaddy · 05/01/2021 13:31

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Jannt86 · 05/01/2021 15:50

Mine learned to use spoon and fork at 12MO. Now at 2.5 I give up making her and she elects to use her hands half the time lol. What I've found helps with her table manors in general is to sit up together and eat in a social way as much as possible. 99% of the time one of me or dh at least will be sat eating with her and mirroring the way we want her to behave at the table. She's much better when we do this. Also not letting her get over tired before eating where possible. Looking at it from their perspective being able to do it doesn't mean it isn't a massive faff to do it and if they're at all grumpy or tired or just plain disengaged then it's underestanable that they might choose the easy option. Mine is also only just starting to get the hang of using a knife and this is because we got her a really good set of cuttlery from amazon that's more like a really small set of adult cuttlery and the knife actually cuts rather than the crappy toddler sets most places sell. I really wouldn't worry about it though. I think most kids will be better at using cuttlery more consistently when they start school etc and become more socially motivated. I wouldn't make a big deal as you're more likely to turn it into an unwinable battle and even give them a food complex

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