5-year old suddenly become super-fussy - what to do?

[alligatorpurse]

5yo DD has always been a reasonably good eater, but for the last month or so she has been refusing all her meals, whining and complaining and saying it's all disgusting. She's not ill, and she will happily eat cake/biscuits/crisps/chicken nuggets/general crap.

She goes off to school with maybe a few mouthfuls of cornflakes, doesn't touch her packed lunch apart from maybe a corner of one sandwich, then turns her nose up at dinner and hardly eats any of it.

Surely she must be starving? I've always been quite strict but relaxed, if that makes sense - I cook a meal, they eat it or don't eat it, but I'm not giving them anything else if they don't eat it. She finishes school just after lunch, then older 2 dc finish later, and they usually get the one sweet thing of the day then, e.g. biscuits, but I haven't let her have the biscuits unless she eats what's in her lunch box. She doesn't, and she whines and cries all afternoon - she MUST be hungry.

I feel terrible that my child must be hungry, but I don't want to give her junk to eat! I've tried not to make biscuits and crisps into a big treat but at the same time they are definitely extras imo, not instead of meals.

Am I taking the right approach do you think?

I think you are taking the right approach by remaining consistent and refusing to get wound up.

I think that I might start offering a small amount of toast and butter or savoury biscuits after school just so that she doesn't get really miserable during the afternoon. It may be that even one sweet biscuit could be a good idea to keep her on an even keel til dinner time so she's more amenable to eating. You just need to not make a connection between the biscuits and the meals so that she doesn't see you as having given in.

My DD has said to me that once she gets past the first stage of hunger it can feel nice which made me a bit so I try to make sure she doesn't get there very often now.

I wouldn't give in and give her junk either. If she doesn't have any additional needs I would stick it out in a very relaxed manner, ensuring that fruit is always available.

Have you tried putting things like wraps or cheese and crackers in the lunch box instead of sandwiches?

Thanks.

I've tried all sorts in the lunch box - pasta, crackers, cheesy bread. She used to eat all of these things. I always put in some fruit, yoghurt etc too, but it all comes home again. She says she hates fruit and doesn't ever want me to give it to her. Same with loads of other foods she used to eat. I don't know why.

She gets really cranky but doesn't say she's hungry. She asks for something to eat at random times and I offer either the lunch box again or some fruit, and she always refuses, unless it's crisps etc.

Maybe I need to just go with it, but I hate the food going in the bin!

I guess you've probably done this but my next strategy would be to get her to choose just one thing to put in her lunchbox (from a healthy selection of course). I wouldn't put anything else in because she wouldn't eat it anyway. Perhaps if she has a less to tackle she'll feel more able to eat.

It might be a good idea to ask whether there are any issues at school lunchtimes. Could there be a battle of wills with a dinner lady that you don't know about? DD2 used to be made to eat all of her school lunch so we swapped to packed lunches. She's still under pressure to eat everything so now I only put a tiny amount in so that she doesn't struggle.

Good luck!

Thanks, I will ask at school, but tbh I think if there was a big issue I would know. It's a very small International school which is why DD is still only half days, and the children eat in the class with the teacher. I speak to her every day at pick up so she would tell me then. DD also wasn't drinking enough but the teacher is making sure she does now, and lets me know every day. We've agreed so far not to make an issue out of the eating.