My 9 year old daughter just cannot stop lying

[lisahardisty]

Any ideas on how I can stop my 9 year old daughter from telling lies. Some are little harmless fibs but some are blatant whoppers which have led to me being called into school!!! Help

Two prongs of attack here which have worked for us:

1. Punishment required - the bigger the lie, the bigger the punishment - usually sweets, computers or not doing a favoured activity - and ALWAYS carry out the threat, otherwise don't make the threat to start with as kids soon learn that it won't really happen.
2. In my experience, lying is usually a product of a "blame" culture and therefore lying is a way of avoiding being blamed for something. When something happens, stop referring to "fault" and start saying "how can we make it better, or avoid this happening next time?" Good luck!

more info needed

• does she have any special needs (does she definitely know what the truth is?)
• does she have friends? (needs to impress others?)
• is she very imaginative/ creative? (fantasising?)
• do the lies involve getting stuff or claiming to have? (she wants to 'keep up' with what others have got)
• do the lies get her out of trouble? (it wasn't me who broke the window)
• who does she lie to? (you/ teachers/ friends/ bullies?)