SN dd making life hell, I feel like running away

[Stressimodo]

She is 11 so starting puberty aswell which is making things worse.
She has dyspraxia and I do everything I can to make life easy for her.
Everyday is a battle right now she is muttering and whining at me and I feel like I'm going to explode.
There is always something wrong but will never explain what it is, she will mutter from the minute she gets up to the minute she goes to bed but the worse thing she does is the tantrums she can go for hours and is very loud, we have just moved and the neighbours are not very nice but then again they are probably pissed off at hearing her kick off from 6am, even in the garden she will tantrum or shout.
She hurts the other dc, I am stressed then I shout at them for arging back with her, I cry in front of them. I can't do another day with her, oh flame me but today I feel like I hate her :(.
She ruins mealtimes by refusing to sit with usshe will push herself away and eat turned to the side, she ruins days out by stressing about them, she ruins visits- today a friend is coming over with her dd's and that is the cause of todays tantrum.
I am struggling -I have just rang dp and told him he has to take unpaid leave because I'm scared of her
Please tell me how to cope.

Sorry for it's so disjointed and has typos, forgot to preview.

Just been up and she has ripped her wallpaper.

Have you been to the SN Children part of this forum?

Not that you can't post here, but a lot of parents with children with SN ONLY post there.

You sound so stressed! and so sad.

Am not sure what to say but you could do with some help. Is she like this with other people?

I feel for you and would agree with starlight about going over to the SN children part, there are loads of really knowledgable people over there and even if we can't help we know what you are talking about .

I was about to suggest SN children too. I have posted in there as well as in here in the past.

There is some fantastic support and advice over there

Stressimodo - it sounds awful :(

I do think you would be best to get this moved to the SN board (just click on 'Report' along the same line as your name and ask MN if they would move it for you - they're lovely and they'll do it no bother).

Of course you are free to post where you like, but the SN area is really supportive and understand better what you are going through x

Hi, thanks all have just reposted in sn :).

Sorry your having a tough time, dd1 (AS and possible dyspraxia) has been a pain in the bum for the past week, she does the moaning 'i'm sad' but doesn't know why, i have spent all day telling her to stop shouting in the garden and telling her to stop dragging her sister around, she's now indoors on the pc and has shut up (whilst dd2 is being noisy).

I would let her sit on her own to eat if it saves having meltdowns at meal times, dd1 often eats alone or with her sister (also sn's/asd).

Hope you manage to get a break, is there anyone who could look after her for the day?