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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Advice needed please !!! My 8wo daughter can't self settle

14 replies

elsie1976 · 17/04/2011 10:43

Hi all, hope you can help please ? My eight week old daughter seems to have developed a sleep problem, she will happily sleep on my chest and if I then put her in her moses basket when she is asleep she is fine until she comes back into a light sleep and can't settle herself back and ends up crying hysterically.

If I put her down when she is half awake/half asleep she can settle herself but takes about an hour of her making noises (not crying) and me putting her dummy back in her mouth before she falls off.

My husband likes swaddling but I don't think she likes it much as she seems to get herself agitated by this.

She sleeps well through the night when she finally gets off to sleep, waking at about 2am and 6am, where I feed her and put her straight down, she makes noises to settle herself and goes back to sleep.

I suppose I'm asking am I wrong to let her go to sleep on my chest and if anyone has any tips for settling her when she awakes mid sleep, should I just let her cry ? I don't want her to feel abandoned ?

Hope someone can give advice, I appreciate this may sound like a very small problem, just don't know where else to go for advice ????? thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

nethunsreject · 17/04/2011 10:46

She is TINY! Let her sleep on you! You are not making a rod. This is normal teeny baby behavior.

nethunsreject · 17/04/2011 10:47

and yep. you are right not to want to let her feel abandoned. She will learn to settle sooner if she learns you are there when she needs you

RitaMorgan · 17/04/2011 10:48

Can you feed her back to sleep?

Most 8 week olds can't self-settle so don't worry about that. I wouldn't let a tiny baby cry either.

thumbbunny · 17/04/2011 10:50

God, no, don't let her just cry - she is way too little yet! And what the others said.

beanlet · 17/04/2011 10:51

My 9 mth DS is asleep on my chest as we speak! He goes down fine in his cot at night (grobag, he hated being swaddled from day1) but during the day he doesn't sleep much anyway, and he will only go to sleep and stay asleep if he is cuddled or in the sling or the pram.

It's only a problem if it's a problem for you. If you need hands free to do other things, try letting your baby sleep in a sling on your chest. But if she self settles at night, I don't think you need to worry about bad habits.

beanlet · 17/04/2011 10:52

And also echo what everyone else has said - she's still tiny! So you shouldn't worry at this stage.

RitaMorgan · 17/04/2011 10:53

How about rocking her back to sleep too? Or my ds liked having his bottom patted - you can try rolling her onto her side and firmly/rhythmically patting her bottom and making loud shushing noises.

babybumpx · 17/04/2011 12:21

Have you read/watched The baby whisperer? Tracey Hogg, I feel that is amazing!! I had my first child at 20, he was a perfect baby and I put that down to the techniques of the baby whisperer.

Hope that helps

BikeRunSki · 17/04/2011 12:22

She is only 8 weeks old, give her time!

monkoray · 17/04/2011 12:33

she's 8 weeks old, she's not supposed to be able to self settle. My DS didn't know how to do that til he was about 7 months old. Its not a sleep problem its completely normal, she will need your help to settle for quite a while.
If your DH likes swaddling but DD gets agitated you could try a woombie
www.amazon.co.uk/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=woombie&tag=googhydr-21&index=aps&hvadid=4529610151&ref=pd_sl_6f1s8e2v9a_e
They are a good compromise, my DS loved his. In the summer you can put them in the woombie and a nappy and nothing else. Makes it easier to transfer them from chest to bed because you don't have to worry about blankets or sleeping bags or anything.

southmum · 17/04/2011 13:28

ahhh, 8 weeks is very tiny for them to self settle.

Mind you my DS who is now 2 wont self settle so best not to listen to me

ShowOfHands · 17/04/2011 13:40

Oh gosh she's brand new.

It's normal and healthy that they rouse themselves regularly and not being able to settle themselves back off to sleep is to be expected at that age. Just do what it takes (cuddles, milk, rocking, patting etc) and it'll come in time. Sounds like she already sleeps brilliantly for such a tiny one.

Sparklyboots · 17/04/2011 20:56

Second the Baby Whisperer...

Gillbr · 18/04/2011 06:33

I had this with my daughter, in that she would only sleep on me until she was about 5/6 months old...or so I thought. Turned out that it was me rather than her and when I decided to go 'cold turkey' and put her to nap in her cot during the day, at about 6/7 months she was fine!

Having said that your daughter is still so small, I wouldn't do anything about it for a good while. Enjoy all the cuddles and if truth be known I miss holding her to sleep more than anything (let her have a sneaky snooze on me occasionally!).

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