How much nonsense does your 4/5 yo talk?

[bitzermaloney]

Just wondering. Ds1's conversation mostly involves telling people they are made of jelly, or that fnabdadbytyooo means tree in French, or replying to straightforward questions with bizarre non-sequiturs, then laughing like a hyena. It is rare to get a straight conversation out of him.

DS is 4 in 3 weeks. We have poo bum RUBBISH shoot shoot shoot noises pretty much on a loop.

Plus random nursery rhymes with new words- usually involving willies or mashing peoples heads or faling into poo- inserted.

Sympathy

DS1 is 5 next week - 80 percent of what he says is gibberish!

Glad I am not alone, then.

Next question: when do they grow out of it?!

DD2's favourite joke (she's 4): knock knock
(me) (obligingly) who's there?
DD2 doctor
(me, surprised at sense and flow of joke) oh ha ha doctor who
(DD2) doctor Louise! ( raucous laughter)

I have a 3 yo just entering this stage 'mummy, look, my cereal is a circle! like a head! '
and a 5 yo smack fucking bang in the middle of it 'mummy, I am going to be in my house and if I say goo goo that means I need a drink and if I say Gaa gaa then I need some chocolate and if I say whoops then my head has fallen off and I have eaten it and pooed it out '

And that was half an hour this morning.

Yes - it's not a lot of comfort, but you aren't alone.

My friends 7 year old is still at it - so don't hold your breath!

Although I do find, 'Stop talking nonsense if you want me to answer you' works really well, but not to stiffle the little darlings creativity too much I suppose one shouldn't do it all the time too often. Though to my mind you need to balance their creativity with your sanity!!

DS (3.5) does this. I blame nursery for teaching him French! Now, it's all "spinkyplinkydoo is banana in French". Total nonsense most of the time. I have to use a magic word to get past him and it's usually gibberish. And yes, lots and lots of poo-poo talk.

DS talks about willies, poo and bottoms way too much.

I am so glad it's not just us .

Oh dear am roffle!

My dd (5) is a nightmare for talking crap. If I want to leave a room she moves quick as lightening to the door and burbles at me "if you want to leave the room mummy you have to say chocolate chocolate open the door and the keyhole is (pointing at random place on body). And she actually won't let me out until I remember where the sodding keyhole is!

We also have the "if I say x, then I need y" and I'm such a bad mother I tend to just say alot of hmm, uh huh, yep and then get it all wrong

Slightly perturbed that we might be looking at YEARS of this tho

I agree with everyone!! Gems from dd1 (4.6) today. If I say doo dah then that means I'm hungry.

You can only go to the toilet if you say the magic word (magic word being some inane made up gibberish)

And knock knock jokes - Knock Knock

Oh yes, I recognise lots of this... Ds1 likes a cup of water next to his bed and every night it's "I need some fresh water Mummy, and when you bring it to me you have to say 'Ring-a-ding-ding' so I know you've done it. "

I am very glad it's not just him. He seems to know lots of very sensible children who mostly look at him like this when he's off on one.

I have tried 'Stop talking nonsense if you want me to answer you' and got 'I am NOT. YOU are talking nonsense, Mummy! You said stinktinkyblob! You DID!'

Oh.my.god. I am so upset that thsi could go on for years. I will be more mad by then.

Ds is 4 and has recently started just literally talking gibberish non stop-so annoying.

Also thinks its hilarious to say in a loud voice in public 'is this a poo?' / 'have you pooed yourself?' / willies and bottoms ad infinitum

Also even ds's own brain can't keep up with the drivel - quite often he 'stalls' and repeats the start of a sentence over and over until he remember what he was going to say, then he just shakes his head and continues on. I am a bad mummy but I sit there grinding my teeth and clenching my fist when he says 'the boy went on the, the boy went on the, the boy went on the, etc etc etc and then finally 'the boy went on the poo ship and his head fell off and the dragons ate it and the lions were there and watched horrid henry and horridy henry came out the tv and they all did pees on the floor mummy - peeeeeeeeeeees! (Squealed, always squealed) and pooooooooooooops' (hysterical) my bp is rising just thinking about it.

Enjoy it! DS1 will be 6 in July. He is convinced he is Doctor Who and most of his conversation revolves around this! He also makes up his own words for things eg hubblecramp - hovercraft/space shuttle. We are often crying with laughter and will be very sad when this gibberish stops!!

Oh and poo, bum, willy and bogeys are often discussed!

A new recent thing is repeating what I/ his Dad says - once I catch on, I just stay silent for a few mins until he says 'say something Mum' so I then start repeating him - ha ha ha ha!!

I remember my brother making up words - one of his favourites was "phillybuster" which we were then all astounded to hear on the news shortly afterwards!

My 4 yo niece also once told me in all seriousness that mummy and daddy had turned into chickens and their heads had fallen off.

I sometimes get the impression the gibberish comes from a desire to speak but not having anything to say so making it up...and also flexing their growing imaginations of course!

thanks for making me laugh my head off! This is all so recognisable. DS1 is nearly 5 and DS2 is 3.5 so the two of them together, well, it really drives me potty at times : )
Mummy, you poo poo on your head is the most popular one... also said to MIL last week when she was visiting. She wasn't too impressed : )

Oh I love 'hubblecramp' - what a great word!

My dd is nearly 4 and I was wondering the same thing. At the moment she tells me long, rambling stories about 'her baby' falling off things and breaking her leg, being late for work etc, etc. Slightly worrying! The conversation is endless but I do love every minute of it

DD is 7 and talks a lot of random crap still ... however I'm happy to report that many of her jokes are actually funny (okay, they were old when I was a kid, but at least they're recognisably jokes).

The random babble noise, the made-up french words, the made-up own language, the magic words to pass, the poo-poo jokes, the copying-what-mummy-says game, the repetitive stories that go on for ever, endless gun/lightsabre/laser/explosion sound effects... yes, yes, yes to all! Aaaaargh!

There are moments where he is lucid, eloquent, witty and extremely good company but I'll be quite glad when the Easter holidays are over!

DS1 also says 'I am not talking gameish' when he is talking sense rather than his made up gibberish!! And yes, his jokes are crap and just don't make sense apart from his favourite (told at least 3 times a day) - What do you call a crazy squirrel? Nuts!!

So relieved it's not just mine!!
DTS1 spends most of his time being a character from a film/TV - Bo from Dukes of Hazzard, Murdoch from the A-Team, etc, and has to be addressed as such, or he won't answer.
DTS2, the other hand, every other word is 'poo' or 'pooslime'. Also I can sympathise with the laughing like a hyena from the OP.
I'm not looking forward to a couple more years of it though, I was hoping the scatalogical phase would be short-lived!

Forgot to add that DTS2 is determined that DD's next new word (16m) will be 'poo' or 'winky'