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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is this a normal reaction in kids?

12 replies

Lethal · 24/09/2003 11:36

I just posted on the behaviour topic yesterday about something else, but wouldn't mind some input on something that happened today.

DH and I took ds (3.3) ten-pin bowling earlier, which he was very excited about. As we were about to start bowling, ds ran up to the lane and started to bowl the ball before the pins had been set properly, and I called out for him to 'stop' but he did it anyway. This resulted in me (very stupidly I guess) trying to retrieve his ball from a very slippery lane and I fell over, & actually landed with a bit of a thud (Oh well, a bit of entertainment for the other bowlers I guess...)

Anyway when I managed to get up again, ds looked horrified that I had fallen over and apologised to me because he knew that I had been trying to get his ball. The thing that concerns me though, is that he has apologised to me about a dozen times since it happened... I keep telling him "it's ok, it was an accident" but he seems to have the incident firmly stuck in his mind. I told my mother about the way he reacted and she thinks he is being way too sensitive about this for his age... taking the blame for me falling over. It does concern me a little, so I'm just wondering what others think. Thanks..

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Enid · 24/09/2003 11:42

Sorry lethal can I just get this out of the way:

If it helps, my 3.5 year old dd is just like this. If this had happened to me she would be just the same. She is a sensitive child (some would say she's a bloomin' nervous wreck )

Yes, he's being sensitive but he sounds like a lovely, caring little boy. At this age they really start to realise that they are responsible for their actions and I think this can be a bit daunting.

So anyway, I think he sounds lovely and you shouldnt worry. Just polish up your bowling skills

Ghosty · 24/09/2003 11:48

Hi Lethal ... I wholeheartedly agree with Enid. My DS is a very sensitive little boy and would have reacted in the same way ... A couple of times he has forgotten about the fact that I am pregnant and has jumped on my tummy and then has felt awful about it afterwards ... even when I told him it was Ok he kept checking to see if the baby was ok and kept saying sorry to my bump (aaahhh )
I get very irritated when people (my DH for one) say that DS is over sensitive. In fact in a row with DH recently when he told me that it was my molly coddling DS that made him so sensitive I told DH that I would rather DS was sensitive like me than emotionally suppressed like DH! Bit harsh and mean of me I know and I did apologise after but I did mean it really ... I would much rather DS was sensitive to other people than not ...

FairyMum · 24/09/2003 11:52

Ahhhh...I think you little boy sounds so sweet and caring. I think certain things which might seem like nothing to us, can make a huge impression on a small child. I don't always understand why, but my dd might get affected by certain books, tv-programmes or incidents in a way I don't understand. I guess it's the way the incident was interpreted in his mind. Perhaps you falling over was a major thing for him? Parents aren't supposed to fall over? I remember my Dh fell of a chair while fixing a light bulb once and both my children were absolutely mortified. To us it was nothing at all.....

Jenie · 24/09/2003 11:53

How lovely for you to have such a sweet and caring little boy, no he isn't over sensitive just aware of others and their feelings.

FairyMum · 24/09/2003 11:55

It is important to remember that little boys should be allowed a sensitive side. Would men worry about their daughters being on the sensitive side ?

janh · 24/09/2003 12:12

Agree with all the other posts, Lethal (why Lethal btw?), he sounds lovely, very mature and kind and not over-sensitive at all.

Frenchgirl · 24/09/2003 12:50

agree with everyone here, he sounds very sweet and maybe he's only just getting used to realising the consequences of his own actions. that's a good sign! what a lovely boy.

Original poster

Lethal · 24/09/2003 12:54

janh, don't worry it's nothing sinister it's just a nickname someone gave me a few years ago.

Thanks everyone I was starting to worry that I'd made my little boy neurotic or something. It's very sweet that he cared about me, but I just worry that he can't seem to forget it! You're right though, it's better than not caring at all... I just hope he's not going to be guilt-prone or something in the future. I've been telling him since this morning what a good boy he is, to try & make up for it.

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Original poster

Lethal · 24/09/2003 12:55

janh, don't worry it's nothing sinister it's just a nickname someone gave me a few years ago.

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Original poster

Lethal · 24/09/2003 12:56

janh, don't worry it's nothing sinister it's just a nickname someone gave me a few years ago.

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Original poster

Lethal · 24/09/2003 12:56

OMG, sorry for the triple post.. I thought my computer had frozen.

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Blu · 24/09/2003 13:12

My DS is younger, so not necessarily relevant, but he has been saying "sorry Daddy" incessantly recently, to the point where it has made us sound as if we are terrifying authoritarians at the very least! It is because a) he has just discovered the concept of apologising, he is trying it out and it is still an entertaining novelty and b) it usually results in us hugging him and saying 'Aaaah, it's all right darling, it's not your fault/nothing happened/ etc etc. I have noticed him exploring emotional responses to things by role playing and seeing how it feels, all of which seems perfectly healthy and normal. Don't know if you recognise any of this in your DS!

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