Please help - 14mo DD tantrums, screaming and clingyness

[stressheaderic]

I'm having a very very difficult time with my DD, can anyone with any experience offer any advice?
She is 14mo but is having full-blown rigid screaming tantrums for up to half an hour several times a day. She won't be held or consoled and just rolls around the floor banging her head and legs and howling.
When not tantruming, she wants to be on my lap the entire time.
She only had 2 teeth until last weekend, got her front top two on Sat and I suspect more may be on their way.
She has eaten virtually nothing for the last month (the odd yoghurt, grape, bit of cheese or ham here and there, no proper meals at all) but drank normally.
I nearly lost it with her today - I've been off with her for 2 weeks Easter hols and every day has been hell. I feel like I cannot cope. She was an incredibly easy baby who slept and ate like a dream, so I'm finding the sudden deteriortion hard to deal with.
Any suggestions as to why she could be so unhappy and angry?

how long has she been like it?

Tantrums since two weeks ago. Not eating for about a month, since she had very bad virus. She seems hungry and interested in playing with food but won't put any in her mouth.
She has been constipated for some weeks but now having mega teething poo explosions - not sure if she has a stomach bug.
She also has quite bad eczema and not sure if it is irritating her - she is not scratching though. We are treating that with Epaderm and Oilatum in the bath but no improvement.

You have just described my 16m old dd exactly!

Same as you, for the last 2weeks. But in her case it's her back teeth, I can see them coming up and she has the teething poo too.

She is driving me to distraction. Only wants to be held but won't let anyone other than me near her.

I just keep telling myself it will pass and she will be her cheerful little self soon.

Doesn't help much mid tantrum though!

Sorry don't have any useful suggestions for you just wanted you to know you are not alone

hmm yeah i would say it's probably down to the teeth then
is she better if you give calpol/nurofen?

A combo of Calprofen/teething powder/teething gel will calm her down a bit but getting her to open her mouth for it is a feat in itself!

It does sound like her behaviour is largely linked to feeling a bit crap. Thats great because you know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but teething can feel like its going on for ages.
have you got one of the medicine syringes that goes really small (not the one that comes with the nurofen bottle but the kind they sell in boots. I find even when DS has mouth shut i can usually get the tip of that in so i can give calpol of nurofen - and you know you can interchange them so you don't have to weight 4 hours between doses if you use both medications.
Also try giving her raw carrot straight from the fridge - its great for teething because the cold soothes the gums and it gives them something to chew. And she might actually eat some too.
Unfortunately 14 months was about the age my DS started tantrums. So although her behaviour may get better when her teeth are through you need to start ignoring the tantrums so she doesn't get any reinforcement from that behaviour. Try walking out of the room and making yourself a cup of tea (and counting to ten if you feel like screaming).

Good luck

Thanks monkoray for another really helpful post. I bought carrots today (Aldi 39p a bag, bargain) so will try that, as a few people have suggested it. She has been ever so slightly better today, even cracked a smile once (probably wind)....we'll get there. All things must pass and all that.

Do wish they were born with full set of gnashers though. What a design flaw.

Would you try an amber necklace? I was sceptical but they are a godsend. Our DS2 has need antibiotics for every tooth that has come through unless he has been wearing an amber necklace (four rounds of antibiotics so far at 12 mo, he has his 9th tooth coming now). They also apparently help with ezcema. We have gone through far far less capol etc for teething since he has been wearing one. Look on Ebay, new ones are about £8 (and WELL worth the money). Only buy Baltic amber.

Also I find Ashton and Parsons teething granules more effective than the Nelsons ones.

Good luck!

peasized - I knew nothing about amber necklaces but had seen a few children wearing them the last few years and thought 'what are they', having now read a few testimonials I'm quite interested and I might give it a try.

Well her two top teeth are fully through now - and they are quite big - over yesterday afternoon and this morning, she has cheered up significantly so it must have been teething - she even managed a full dinner last night :)

Unfortunately I might have to make her slightly poorly again, as I'm going to take her for her immunisations tomorrow after having to miss them for the last 9 Mondays due to illness. Hopefully she's be ok. Thanks for all advice.

If it's any consolation, I was about to post a thread for the very same reason. I have a 14 month old DS who has, this past couple of weeks, started getting VERY clingy and throwing tantrums, during which he doesn't know whether he wants comfort or to push me away.

He started nursery one day a week a month ago, and each time has come back with a new virus, as expected. However, one was particularly nasty and landed him in hospital for a week (he had a very high fever for nearly 2 weeks), and recently we had to go away and stay in a hotel for 4 days while I took a course (of course he came with us). Not surprisingly, since then his sleeping has been messed up - he won't contemplate going in his cot, and actually wants to be rocked to sleep in my arms, which I am doing at the moment as I'm going to wait until he's feeling confident again before trying to get him to sleep in his cot. Makes naptimes and bedtime difficult though. He wakes up in the night reaching reaching out for me and then crawls over until he is nestled in my arms.

The tantrums are new - he's very strong and arches his back and it's difficult to do anything with him, especially try putting him in his buggy. When in a tantrum, his hands are often in his mouth which makes me suspect teething pain as well.

He has also had to miss his immunisations due to continuing illness. He still needs his booster and MMR.

Eating has gone to pot - he wants snacky things (especially baby biscuits, which were the only things he'd eat when ill) but has suddenly got very picky and often rejects main meals.

He also has eczema; ditto the Epaderm and Oilatum. The former works better than the latter but the eczema still keeps coming, and recently I've noted DS pulling at his clothes as if he's itching (before this, it never seemed to bother him, but just looked unsightly)

I've probably bored you with all this, but just wanted you to know you aren't alone - sounds like your DD and my DS are very similar! I'm sure things will improve. I wonder if your DD had a similar virus to my DS and it has just taken her a long while to get over it?

Funny you should mention - DD's virus that she had about 3 weeks ago ended up with a short stay in hospital with a raging fever and dehydration. It was a very nasty virus and seems to be doing the rounds in my area. I do now think she was still getting over it when the other stomach bugs/teething hit. Poor thing, she's been through the mill lately.

She did perk up significantly at the weekend though and has actually sat playing with toys for about half an hour now without clinging on to me. Very pleaed to have the smiley girl I know and love back.
Hope your DS gets his sleeping and eating back to normal soon for you.