Challenging 7 year old DD

[LizzieWizzy]

Is it just me or are there no section dealing with child behaviour between the ages of toddler- and teenage-hood? Or maybe it's just my children that still have behavioural problems in this period of their life! My DD is 7 and regularly has hissy fits...screaming, answering back, slamming doors, being generally very confrontational. Needless to say our relationship is stormy. Is this a phase or is this her? She is a very bright girl, but my latest encounter with the teachers went something like this: "we cannot wait for her to decide when she is ready to do something or for her to have her own schedule". In a nutshell she decides what she wants to do and when and generally will not budge. Things are complicated by the fact that I am single, work full time and get no valuable support from her father (unless it involves undermining me), which means that I have to deal with this on my own and I am getting to the end of my tether. She doesn't care about punishments and will just accept them. We have tried positive reinforcement but again that only last a while and at some point a form of punishment has to come into it i.e. withholding something but this has limited effect. She has had to grow up quite quickly and the other day said that she was just in the wrong body, that she needed to be a teenager. That was all that was wrong with her!

Do you have other children or is it just you and your daughter? It sounds like shes very frustrated and doesn't know how to deal with her emotions yet. You could try a 'feelings' chart where she can put down if she is feeling happy, sad, angry etc at various times of the day and then hopefully this could lead to a discussion and her opening up about how she is feeling and why. If you have other children maybe she feels like they are getting more of your time? Do you manage to have girly time together (I know its hard when you're working full time)? she sounds like a very bright girl maybe she just needs to channel all her negative energy in another way, a new hobby or activity, martial arts are a good way to give children confidence and also teach them self control :-)

Thanks @Buffy13. She has an older brother of 9 but they don't get on too well at the moment. I was considering putting her into stage school because she loves singing and dancing & writes songs and poems with her friend. I think that this might be a good release for her and will mean that she can sing to her hearts content without her brother telling her to "stick a sock in it". Will see how it goes. :-)