Bad language in a 10 year old.

[lostluggage]

My son has just turned 10 and is in year 5 at the local state school.

Since starting in juniors (year 3) his language has become appalling. In Y3/Y4 his bad language was swearing in anger at me or his siblings. In Y5 his language has moved onto sexual language "suck my willy" and racist language. I am absolutely livid and mortified that such filthy language can come out of the mouth of my pfb.

I know that playgrounds are full of bad language but why does he use it at home too? I never swear or use racist/sexual language at home so I'm not sending any subliminal messages that it's ok. His bad language is always punished and he knows that the words that he uses are unacceptable but he persists. When I was caught swearing at school age 7 I was made to eat soap but in 2011 I can't punish him like that without a call from the police or ss. Is he doing this because he's never had a punishment harsher than losing the money in his money box or having to sweep and mop the kitchen floor?

At school his behaviour is apparently impeccable. (Never lost a minute of Golden Time since Reception)

What can I do?

I have 2 other dc- age 8 and age 4 and I hate it that the oldest has corrupted them with such despicable language.

The odd profanity is fairly common in children once they start juniors, but to use offensive sexual or racist language is less so. I would be very worried if this was regular behaviour from either of my children. By the way, I put soap in my sons mouth the first time he used inappropriate language in front of me aged 8 ... it worked and he remembers it to this day (now 15yrs!)

He's 10.
It's up to you to not allow him to do it in the home.

Particularly with younger sibs around to hear it you really need to be coming down tough on this. Rinsing mouth out with soap is a bit much but I would be withdrawing priviledges until it improves and making him earn it back by not swearing.

"Rinsing mouth out with soap is a bit much...." really? Would you feel it's a bit much if he asked you to "Suck my willy!!"

Madamesin- He goes through periods of doing it loads and periods of not doing it for weeks. I suspect that he's doing it a lot in the playground (daily?).

I known it's harsh, but I also washed my ds mouth out when he kept saying the 'F' word, we tried everything first, like removing toys/privilages/naughty step and all that, but nothing worked, so we resorted to that, and to be honest, we only had to do it the once, and have never had to do it since.
He has never said that word since though!
Lx

Bucharest- not really helpful!! I know his language is not acceptable. Do I tape his mouth or something??

MillsandDoom- I punish everytime. Grounding and loss of TV/ ps3/pocket money only makes him sorry for as long as the privilege is lost. The other kids know it's wrong and don't say it at home or in earshot of the teachers at school.

Dh is not keen on the soap punishment which is why I haven't done it but I plan to propose this again.

I am really considering home ed to put an end to this.

Have just read the Playful Parenting book - his suggestion is to say, "you can say x all you want, just don't say fiddlesticks (or something similarly stupid)". Cue child saying fiddlesticks and adult playacting super mad - chasing round the house, pretending to be so mad you can't see and bump into stuff, etc. Not sure how playful I'd feel about "suck my willy!", mind...